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InfinityParticipantNovember 18, 2016 at 7:21 pm #117881
I met a man 3 weeks ago IRL, at a party. Since then we have gotten together 4 times, for Happy hour. We live about 3 miles apart. This Saturday will be our first real Saturday night date. Dinner at a nice BYOB restaurant, then down the street to see a band. Both places are less than a mile from his home (about 3 miles from mine).
He has never really asked me much, if anything, about my life. I do volunteer information. We had a long phone conversation where he asked several personal questions ( family, and health matters). At the end of all that, he suggested that Saturday night I sleep at his house so I won’t have to drive home ( a whopping 3 miles). He specified I could have the room to myself, but he really wants me to stay at his place as opposed to going home.
What Gives? Why is this necessary? I hardly drink so much I can’t handle driving home. I believe his sudden Interest in my life was a grooming to get me to stay with him.
I am a little insulted.
tomeliot17ParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 2:19 pm #117896
Morals and values vary from person to person. After a few dates he just may be looking for a bit more. I’ve found 4 dates usually to be the natural starting point for let’s call it a deeper relationship. He obviously was trying not to offend you but showing that he cares and is interested in moving the relationship forward.
wonderussParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 2:41 pm #117898
I’d be up front with him that the timing isn’t comfortable with you now. 4 dates is just touching the tip of dating. Either way let him know if it’s and option or not later
take it as a compliment and not an insults; insisting that why your dating.
subconsciousslaveParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 11:09 pm #117905
If your gut tells you something is off, you should definitely trust your gut. Your conscious mind and reasoning can be great but also will lead you astray with stuff like this. You could always not drink. Or get a cab. Or a friend to drive you home.
kassie2015ParticipantNovember 19, 2016 at 11:54 pm #117908
He probably just liked to hang out with you a lot because he probably thinks your fun and he wants you to spend the night maybe he’s just lonely and doesn’t want to be alone
unknown17ParticipantNovember 20, 2016 at 5:17 am #117914
You should never do somethin that you’re not comfortable with. If he is really a good guy he will totally understand it.
sjm94ParticipantNovember 21, 2016 at 2:09 am #117985
If you are too sceptic of his intentions then don’t go ahead with it, save yourself the headaches!
farawayParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 4:28 am #129526
he has interested in you and wanna have deep relationship
AllStars101ParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 4:52 am #129528
If you trust him then it should be fine but considering you said you only saw him 4 times I would proceed with caution
frosty123ParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 8:12 am #129545
Honestly he probably just wants to hang out more in private and just chill
dutchroseParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 2:22 pm #129627
do what will make you comfortable!! If you are comfortable spending the night with him, just do it. But if you think you will regret anything, than just get home with a taxi!
mollypopParticipantMarch 13, 2017 at 9:07 am #129890
Just do it.
AkaneParticipantMarch 13, 2017 at 2:41 pm #129946
It is very simple, and this is something I have always trouble with. This is your life! If you don’t want to stay the night with him yet because you want to make sure he deserves having you like that, then don’t. If he doesn’t like it and complains, that tells you right there, he is not worth your time if he can’t wait. Do things in your own pace, not his!!
sweetjess1951ParticipantMarch 13, 2017 at 3:39 pm #129963
I understand where you are coming from. I’d be a little skeptical of his reasoning for why he wants you to sleep over. 3 miles is nothing but an uber ride. I could understand if you lived 30 miles apart, but not 3.
As I get older, I don’t want to move quickly in a relationship. While sex is amazing, I want to make sure I have a solid foundation before jumping in the bed. Maybe you should have a conversation with him about your feelings about this. If you don’t feel comfortable staying, I’d let him know that. If he doesn’t respect it, I’d move on.
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