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catpinParticipantJuly 12, 2016 at 2:00 am #104924
Like most relationships, the sex was frequent and exciting in the early months. However, after over a year things have changed a bit. Our first sex fight was about me not initiating often enough, as well as not “doing” enough (i.e. being on top). I said I’d try harder but I feel like a woman’s “I want you” signals are more subtle than a man’s, and he doesn’t get that. Like, me “trying” involves caressing his arm, or something like that, for starters. When I do that, he just lays there, non-responsive. I take that as a hint to leave him alone. Fighting continues. My problem now is I feel like he just wants sex as a way to get off. I’ve told him this and he hasn’t changed his approach. He doesn’t touch me all night then asks “can we have sex tonight” which is such a turnoff to me. Another time he wanted to early in the evening but I declined…so I sent him some sexy pics and he replied that he “already got off” which I found insulting. As it it’s not about me. What should I do?
Love ExplainedParticipantJuly 15, 2016 at 9:21 pm #105437
This sounds like the comments of a married couple rather than a pre married couple. The married couple would be dealing with this problem by taking their kids to Spin Class or Little League. Maybe you should leave before the kids happen.
If you really want to please your man, never say no, initiate it, and finish it. If you do this and it is not enough tell him your moving on. He’ll miss you when your gone.
He already “got off” because he wasn’t sure you would do that for him. Don’t be insulted, that’s what guys do.
Cam76ParticipantJuly 16, 2016 at 2:09 pm #105473
Could you try initiate it easier in the day by sending him suggestive texts. This way you are being subtle but also creating a situation where he knows what you want.
Kay027ParticipantJuly 21, 2016 at 2:14 pm #106033
Maybe. He just wants to be friends with benefits. He wouldn’t treat you like a piece of meat if he really liked you. I have been in this situation before and it felt terrible. I think you should just leave him in the past and move on to a guy that will treat you a lot better. Good luck!
Vdaguy92ParticipantJuly 22, 2016 at 7:03 pm #106292
coming from a guy, maybe you should find another guy who appreciates you wholly.
WinryParticipantJuly 29, 2016 at 8:35 am #106830
He doesn’t sound like a very nice and fair person. If he isn’t going to help initiate and please you, why should you have to try to continue to please him? I also would have taken him “getting off” a complete insult. I think you need a man that actually cares about you and your sexual needs and wants!
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