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AnonymousMay 8, 2017 at 6:26 am #135643
I have been single almost three years. Met a guy last weekend, we had dinner. It went well. Next day we went out for the afternoon, visited a beautiful National Trust place, kissed. Third day, third date I went to his place and the inevitable happened. So he asks me to be his girlfriend (warning, warning, fast track relationship alert). Anyway now a week later and it is all over. His communication style meant that he wasn’t too bothered to text/message/speak to me (already). I was honest and said that for me the problem was we slept together too fast, and when I do that, I feel closer to someone than I should (like I hardly know the guy). I also like guys who are communicators. Some are, some aren’t. So I decided to end it as I could feel that I was just getting frustrated with him and he was making himself unavailable.
So I need to set myself a goal. I feel that in order to develop a connection 1. do not sleep with him in the first month 2. …..
AnonymousMay 8, 2017 at 6:28 am #135644
2. have no expectations around communication (do not want to be a needy woman who demands responses etc.) The problem with this guy is that initially he was all over me texting, messaging, sending photos. He was already going cool on me, probably because I had given myself on a plate.
I will have to chalk this one down to experience…. will I ever learn.
any advice gratefully received.
lovie4youParticipantMay 9, 2017 at 12:43 am #135725
First of all, I don’t think it was too soon for you to sleep with him that is the way it is nowadays. A lot of relationships will sleep together on the first date. I did plenty of times but for him, it sounds like he did it for sex and not for love, chances are he probably had a regular girlfriend, a lot of guys will do that and a big reason is they had a big fight with each other and he did it out of spite trust me it is not what you did by all means you just got caught in the middle. You will find a nice man one day believe it or not there are some nice guys out there. I do wish you the best of luck.
moon78ParticipantMay 11, 2017 at 3:55 pm #136120
Don’t torment yourself here. It’s great that you ended this because who knows how long this might have dragged on. He would have been all over you whenever he wanted to get laid. But then as soon as he got what he wanted, he would have been uncaring and unavailable. That’s my assumption anyway. I’d say good riddance, and find someone who actually cares to be with you. I’m not sure about when to finally sleep with the guy because I’ve had mixed experiences. It depends on what a decent human being he is. How caring and kind he is. It’s cliche, but there are lots of other guys out there than for you to waste any more time on this loser. Good luck, and I know you’ll find someone wonderful someday!
0807nmParticipantMay 12, 2017 at 5:18 am #136166
Was he going cool on you because you were being cool back do you think? I know a few men who will happily chase during the dating stage but then want things to be more equal during the relationship. Not to mention, some men aren’t massive texters and will happily return to their usual style of texting once they no longer have to do so much chasing. In today’s society, it’s important to not go off texts and instead go off actions, what was he like when you were together?
sportieshaParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 12:27 am #136906
I agree sleeping with someone brings feelings that you wouldn’t want it the beginning. It complicates it all. For next time wait a bit
Mel4everableParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 12:44 pm #136951
I’m just going to point out a couple things I found wrong here:
1. You cannot pursue a relationship with somebody just after a couple days of meeting and expect everything to be fine and dandy
2. Sex creates bonds; physical and emotional. I disagree concerning the belief that since sex has become an open culture that you should sleep around with whomever and in a short space of time. Think about it. You are connecting with someone on a spiritual and emotional level. Do you really care to share the most intimate part of yourself (your body) with somebody that you really don’t know much about?
I’m sorry to be blunt but cut it off, it’s not going to work. Next time, try pondering on my above comments and thread cautiously. Your body is a temple, be careful with whom and how easily you share it with anybody. Protect your feelings because I guarantee you that he is not feeling as confused as you are now. The only one in the end to be hurt is you.
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