he's getting uncomfortably obsessive

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he's getting uncomfortably obsessive

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2018 at 4:42 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    ellie
    ellie
    Participant
    May 26, 2018 at 4:28 am #175382
    he's getting uncomfortably obsessive

    I’ve dated this guy for a couple of months and I really thought things could work out between us… but they didn’t… so I decided to end things, to which he said no.. he said he’s so in love with me that he can’t get over me even though I told him I don’t like him anymore.. it’s been over a month he hasn’t stopped..
    I tried ignoring him but he keeps calling and texting.. he even showed up in front of my house once..
    the thing is, he is sort of a cousin, so I don’t want him to make a fuzz or tell anyone about us as I don’t want to get into an awkward situation if we ever run into each other in family gatherings

    I want to end things quietly..
    what should I do? ?

    phantomlady
    phantomlady
    Participant
    May 26, 2018 at 3:02 pm #175389

    You dated your cousin?

    jason90
    jason90
    Participant
    May 29, 2018 at 10:05 am #175384

    This is the type of thing restraining orders are for. Get in contact with the police. Save all your messages, texts, voicemails, etc. and show them. If your family are understanding they will accept your decision because what he is doing is completely unacceptable. Have you considered what would happen if he gets angry with you? You have to approach this situation with extreme caution.

    Savykitty
    Savykitty
    Participant
    May 30, 2018 at 2:05 pm #175643

    First, block his number. It’s easier for you to not have to see all the calls and texts he is sending. I’ve dated a guy like this and its not good for you or him if there is any line of communication between the two of you. Yes, it seems a little mean but in the long run it will help. Having that silence between the two of you will also help him to slowly release his feelings for you. Right now he’s hurting. People do strange dramatic things when they are hurting. I think if he also kept quiet about the two of you dating, then it was mutual. He probably doesn’t want anyone else knowing either. Just keep your distance and cut it off cleanly. Even if you see him at family events, just stick with other people so he can’t get you alone, and if he happens to, just be friendly and tell him there’s nothing to discuss.

    greenbook
    greenbook
    Participant
    June 17, 2018 at 1:02 pm #177254

    Yes, guys who can’t take no for an answer are a real problem. I second the advice above…..as a male poster. I actually had to address this issue with a male co-worker of mine 6 months ago. I told him that what he was doing wasn’t right and wasn’t going to do anything to get her back. Relationships sometimes don’t work. Sometime it’s no one’s fault. That’s life and you just move on. But making yourself look like a psycho jerk is bad news.

    • This reply was modified 1 month ago by greenbook greenbook.
    radburn12345
    radburn12345
    Participant
    June 20, 2018 at 10:25 am #177548

    Be very wary. I agree with the advice of a peace order. He will know you mean business but if you get such an order you yourself cannot reach out to him under any circumstances!

    WriterMommy
    WriterMommy
    Participant
    June 20, 2018 at 7:34 pm #177609

    Protect yourself. Restraining order and blocking his number are good starts.

    pisceslady89_
    pisceslady89_
    Participant
    June 26, 2018 at 6:00 am #177937

    What a creep. Block him from everything. That kind of person is scary and obsessed. And why did you date your cousin? Ofcourse this won’t end well because he might tell your other eelatives that you were together. By his acts now it seems like he will make everything a big deal unless he decides to shut up and move on.

    Carter
    Carter
    Participant
    July 3, 2018 at 2:53 pm #178648

    Maybe it’s worse. There are problems with these guys

    johndoe5
    johndoe5
    Participant
    July 3, 2018 at 3:41 pm #178653
    Reply To: he's getting uncomfortably obsessive

    Yeah, block him and get a restraining order.