He’s gone on a month long vacation

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He’s gone on a month long vacation

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2018 at 5:06 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    prscrcks123
    prscrcks123
    Participant
    November 9, 2018 at 9:06 pm #189160
    He’s gone on a month long vacation

    I’ve just started dating this guy about a month and a half ago. Things moved kind of quickly we were seeing each other about twice a week doing dinners and movies and such and we didn’t get intimate until about a month in. The month and a half we were dating he was texting me everyday and everything was going great. Now he’s left on a month long vacation to California. He’s taking care of his friends house that is kind of in the middle of nowhere so he does not have much to do. Ever since he’s been on vacation I’ve barely heard from him. He will text me time to time but then he will go a day or two with no text at all. And I know that he is away on “vacation” but he is posting on social media sitting bored at home. The first two times this happened I reached out and asked him how he was doing and if everything is okay. But I don’t want to be the one constantly putting the effort in. What do you think went wrong and what should I do?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 11, 2018 at 12:04 pm #189175

    Six weeks of dating doesn’t necessary mean you’re in a “committed/exclusive relationship”.
    Sounds to me like you guys never had “the talk’ about wants and expectations.

    If that is the case then you are not officially a “couple in a relationship”.
    You’re in a “Situationship” an undefined relationship or possibly “friends with benefits”.

    Your having sex most likely has nothing to do with this. Most adults don’t wait a month to have sex these days.
    The exception would be if he was disappointed, thought it was only “so-so” and not worth the wait, or felt sexually incompatible. A great lover is hard to let go of even if you know they’re not otherwise right for you.

    I’m always amazed at how few people these days actually use their phones to {call} anyone!
    Give him a call and talk with him. You can learn a lot more by listening to someone’s vocal tone.
    If the conversation doesn’t flow like when you’re together tell him you feel like he’s lost interest and see what he says.

    prscrcks123
    prscrcks123
    Participant
    November 11, 2018 at 2:27 pm #189184

    I think the sex was good but not amazing. He’s very big which makes it sometimes really uncomfortable for me. And I decided to wait a month because my past made me feel it was a smarter move to see if someone genuinely wants to get to know me or just wants to sleep with me and leave.

    I called him about four days ago and brought it up that I haven’t heard from him and he says he was busy at the beach, or didn’t have WiFi, and then said that he doesn’t stress about it but he understands where I’m coming from. The conversation otherwise was nice and we had a lot to talk about.

    I just get confused as to why he doesn’t want to reach out and see how I’m doing? Does he not care enough? Is he not worth it to wait around for? Or do you think guys genuinely don’t even think of these things?

    Mike11
    Mike11
    Participant
    November 11, 2018 at 2:34 pm #189185

    In my opinion, a good guy would be trying to talk to you multiple times a day. Sorry if it hurts to hear this, but it’s possible that he doesn’t care for you the way you might want. If he isn’t taking large amounts of time out of his day to talk to you than he may not be completely interested and considers you more of a sexual partner and less of a girlfriend. This possibility isn’t reason to lose hope that he might be the one for you, though. Try talking to him and explaining how you feel. If he is empathetic about not talking to you enough then he likely is sorry about it, if he tries to give reasons why then he may not care enough.

    j02172018
    j02172018
    Participant
    November 13, 2018 at 8:27 am #189161

    Probably he is just bored or something, try asking him to do something with you when he gets back. and men also like putting in the effort, so don’t be worried. just asking this question. is already effort in your part and you just want him to feel better and bored.

    Tell me how it goes……

    giuliaengels
    giuliaengels
    Participant
    November 13, 2018 at 8:27 am #189170

    Idk man sometimes guys are just stupid. I learned that being direct is the best way to get things resolved.
    I would just ask him that if he’s so bored why doesn’t he call you. Don’t try to think about what might have happened. I would just ask him. Not in a mean way but like very honest.

    prscrcks123
    prscrcks123
    Participant
    November 13, 2018 at 8:27 am #189189

    He’s still sending me videos and pictures and such but just no actual conversation 🙁 and yes I was thinking of having that conversation but I just don’t want to scare him off.