How can I help my girlfriend who doesn't feel confident about her abilities?


How can I help my girlfriend who doesn't feel confident about her abilities?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    April 13, 2018 at 7:31 pm #170536
    How can I help my girlfriend who doesn't feel confident about her abilities?

    So my girlfriend (19 years old) and I (25 years old) have been together for six months now.

    She is in her first year of community college (just graduated high school), and I recently got a Bachelors degree, and am on my way to Medical School. She sometimes feels like she is stuck in a rut, and doesn’t know where she is going in life. She is particularly interested in animals, and wants to work with animals, and is VERY interested in the idea of becoming a Veterinarian.

    However, she is very intimidated by the process of getting there. When I talked to her about it, she was not confident that she would have the discipline, but I told her that she’s selling herself short. I insisted that I’m not pressuring her into a hard science major, but I feel like I can come off as biased, since I majored in a hard science myself.

    I feel bad because I know she can do great things, but I don’t know how to help her. What do you think?

    April 14, 2018 at 4:30 pm #170565

    Life is a (personal) journey.

    Most teenagers don’t know what they want to do in life.
    They tend to live “in the moment”.
    The great thing is those first couple of years of college can be used for finding oneself.
    Anyone who says they’re in a “rut” is telling you they’re “uncertain” about what they (really) want to do.
    Truth is they may be feeling like nothing sounds all that appealing to them right now.
    If being a Veterinarian was her “dream” she wouldn’t need any motivation.

    You need to resist the idea of trying to “save her” or “guide her”.
    Just let her know you’ll support her in whatever major she decides to declare.
    In all honesty odds are you’re not going to end up married and living happily ever after.
    Just enjoy the relationship as it is and keep your focus on doing well in med school.

    Each of us has to figure out for ourselves what we want to do with our lives.