How do I (22m) gauge her (18f) interest in me?

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How do I (22m) gauge her (18f) interest in me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 7:34 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    lsal1
    lsal1
    Participant
    April 11, 2020 at 10:44 am #232713
    How do I (22m) gauge her (18f) interest in me?

    So I help out with my church’s youth group, and there’s a high school senior in the youth group whom I’ve gotten close with. I’ve known her for about a year and a half. I can’t stop thinking about her. I know baseline that she is drawn to me in some way, and there’s this part of me that wishes that I could just get to know her (she’s mentioned getting coffee once but nothing ever came from that). Anyways, she will walk up to me regularly and talk (I do the music at church and she will come up whenever she doesn’t help and give me a hug and tell me good job a lot of the times), so much to where some of my friends have noticed and said stuff. She will sometimes text me first about music or random things (she will send me tiktoks that she uses to make fun of me), last week we talked on the phone about some music stuff, but then it turned into her telling me she was going to workout and stuff about her gym, and she ended the call with “Ok bye I’ll call you later” (she never did).

    lsal1
    lsal1
    Participant
    April 11, 2020 at 10:45 am #232714

    In person she will mess with me, tease me, randomly walk up to me (but she also has a lot of guy friends so not sure if I’m just in the same boat). She also confides in me about a few hard things in her life. We talked after lunch for an hour in the parking lot about hard things in her life, then she turned the convo to her new friend group which she said “everyone is starting to date each other, but I’m not interested in any of them. I’m about to graduate and so I want to be dating someone now (assuming not after she gets to college).” And I wasn’t flirty (boundaries bro…I could lose my job if I don’t wait til May), and she also has wanted to tell me about a recent anxiety attack she had. A lot of our texting she initiates but used to mostly be about church but there have been a few other things but there most of the time short and ends with her not responding or liking my messages. Now we’ve been talking on the phone more often (for hours) or texting frequently.

    lsal1
    lsal1
    Participant
    April 13, 2020 at 7:42 am #232715

    She will take pics on my phone of herself, she posts pics of me on her insta story (and shell get on my phone and take ones of us and post them on mine) and the other day she said “*this girl* is in a relationship, I can’t believe you’re not in one OP. hahaha” and then I just diffused the convo and changed the subject.
    Now though, she’s going on a date with a guy and so she has talked to me about that a bit and just listened and offered advice, but then it turns to friendly conversation/talking about random things and laughing. We usually talk on the phone for about 1-2 hours on average, and she will ignore my messages sometimes or ignore certain things I say. But she teases me, calls me “dingus” all the time, sends me funny videos/pics. She’s an enneagram 5w4 if that tells you anything!
    We’ve been talking a lot more nowadays…anyways, we talk and when we spend time together its for a long time, and she opens up and tells me random things about herself,

    lsal1
    lsal1
    Participant
    April 13, 2020 at 7:43 am #232716

    but apparently she’s a bro-type girl and can be flirty with her guy friends (her words not mine). She also said that if she has feelings for a friend she will tell them once she realizes them, and that if someone has feelings for her, she would want them to just be honest. So I want to tell her, but will wait the next month until she’s finally done with school. So idk if she’s interested, just a flirty gal, or what. Idk if she understands that since I am a college student but still can’t date her until she’s out of high school that she is gauging my interest or what. Maybe she knows that I can’t do anything and so she’s playing hard to get or waiting til May so she’s just having a lot of self-control? let me know your thoughts. Its not much but its what I have haha!

    Her and that guy have been talking, and he keeps ignoring her and so she has told me a lil bit how upset she is, and she thinks I like this other girl (which I said just to be careful cause I didn’t want to tell her)

    ncg
    ncg
    Participant
    April 27, 2020 at 12:03 am #233135

    You are thinking way too much about this one chick and making things way too complicated. You are making it complicated because you are scared of rejection. Nothing is 100%. Either ask her out or go on with your life.

    Johncoe
    Johncoe
    Participant
    May 1, 2020 at 4:32 pm #233245

    I think you just need to be honest with her tell her how you feel and see if she feels the same if not then at least you know where you stand instead of constantly wondering