How do I make him see me the way he sees other girls?

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How do I make him see me the way he sees other girls?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    LeeLee
    LeeLee
    Participant
    June 1, 2020 at 12:36 pm #234512
    How do I make him see me the way he sees other girls?

    Several years ago I briefly dated this guy. We spent a lot of time together, but ended up calling it off cause he was unsure about his feelings for a coworker. We stayed in contact over the years but very innocently. I ended up getting married, but when my husband and I separated I reached back out. It was innocent for the most part with some flirting. He somehow got the impression that I wanted to hook up, but told me he was unable to because he had an interest in another girl and wanted to see how that played out. I told him I was not looking for a hook up but just to catch up (which was the truth). Several weeks later he reached out to me and we had a date that led to making out. We have great chemistry and he says I am a catch.
    He still has not seen things through with the other girl and did say he is kind of stuck on her.
    My question is, how do I make him see me as a potential relationship?

    Dolmetscher007
    Dolmetscher007
    Participant
    June 2, 2020 at 11:07 am #234561

    What you are asking for in this post’s subject, is strategy. Pop culture calls this your “game,” as in… “She’s got game when it comes to men.” That phrase makes it seem like some individuals know some secret tricks that manipulate people. It’s simply not the case. The real story is, people with “game,” focus their attention on their own expectations. They apply energy only towards people who they have identified as receptive. Most of the time they are not even aware they are doing it. They live their lives from a mental place of abundance, not scarcity. If you know someone who seems to always “get the guy/girl,” it only seems that way because they don’t pursue dead ends or the emotionally unavailable. They simply say to themselves, “This just one silly person out of billions,” and they walk their fine ass out the door (to quote Lizzo). You might try changing your mental narrative to “Since [dude’s name] isn’t seeing me how I wish he would, who can I think of right now who might?”

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 3, 2020 at 10:44 am #234609

    ‘..I briefly dated this guy….but ended up calling it off cause he was unsure about his feelings for a coworker.”

    “..when my husband and I separated I reached back out. It was innocent for the most part with {some flirting}.

    “..He somehow got the impression that I wanted to hook up..”

    “..told me he was unable to because he had an interest in another girl..”

    “..he says I am a catch.”

    “He still has not seen things through with the other girl and did say he is kind of stuck on her.”

    Years ago you stopped dating because he was hung up on another girl.
    History is now repeating itself.

    He NEVER saw you as being serious date material!
    Maybe he’s one of those people who loves a challenge. (much like yourself)
    You’ve always been the “low hanging fruit” he felt he could have anytime he wanted.

    In order for (him) to be “the one” he would have to see (you) as being “the one”.
    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 3, 2020 at 11:07 am #234611

    Don’t take solace in his patting you on the head and telling you you’re a “catch”.
    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    Whenever a man openly tells you he’s attracted to another woman it means he’s NOT romantically interested in you.
    Odds are the other woman who he IS romantically interested in doesn’t know you’re in his life at all.

    Sounds like the two of you have always been “friends with benefits” and NEVER in an “exclusive relationship”.
    He’s always had you “riding the bench” while he sought out a “starter” to make his team.

    Don’t be a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel!
    Love yourself enough to {move on} and go where you’re appreciated.

    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
    Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

    You may want to read: My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

    Best wishes!