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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!July 24, 2015 at 10:29 pm #83217
I am a 22 year old woman that is still COMPLETELY perplexed by the male psyche! If you are a man, please answer these two short questions:
number 1–“Will you spend money on very nice dinners/brunches for a woman more than 5 times if you had absolutely no interest?” (He hasn’t even tried to kiss me)
number 2 — “Should I wait for him to text me….always?” (he works a lot, he works night shifts at a demanding job and I don’t want to exhaust/annoy him. I really want to get to know him better, communication is the only way I know how!!!)
*I DON’T want to play mind games. I’m not at all a supporter of that. It’s unfair and unkind, so real advice only, please!
all of your comments are greatly appreciated!!
blockmanParticipantJuly 24, 2015 at 10:33 pm #83220
this is the original shit we men have to contend with as well
at the end of the day jsut be bold and get him by calling him or showing up at his door or whatever.
zach94ParticipantJuly 25, 2015 at 11:24 am #83237
Men usually don’t take women out to dinner and such if they’re not interested, especially not that many times. I would say you should text him every now and then. Men don’t want to piss of women by texting them a lot, don’t want to come off desperate. There was a girl I was sorta seeing for a while 2 years ago. She sent me good morning texts every day around 20 minutes to a hour before I started my work shift. It was something I looked forward to everyday. You could do something small but meaningful like that if you know his work schedule. It definitely builds a man’s confidence if you’re texting/calling him. Then he’ll get the idea you’re into him. Some men have trouble going in for the kiss, especially if they think about it too much. You should try building his confidence up and see where it goesJuly 27, 2015 at 8:21 am #83240
thank you, Zach! your advice is very helpful!! ~Alexa
BenEasterParticipantJuly 28, 2015 at 1:58 pm #83378
Alexa, I have a couple thoughts for you.
First, have you considered asking him these questions? You say that you don’t want to play mind games and here you are trying to figure out his strategy so you know which moves to make 🙂 If a man has taken you out on five dates but hasn’t even tried to kiss you, then I might wonder if he is very inexperienced and doesn’t know how to kiss you or maybe if he is gay and in the closet (maybe even to himself), or maybe he has a VERY conservative upbringing and waiting like that is his culture. There could be a ton of different reasons and the best way to find out would be to ask him. “Hey [his name], I am confused. Are you interested in me sexually/romantically?”
BenEasterParticipantJuly 28, 2015 at 2:00 pm #83379
Second, “should I wait for him to text me… always?” Again, I hear you say that you are not into mind games and I just want to point out that this question is based in “mind game” thinking, or maybe I don’t understand what you mean by mind game.
If you want to text him/call him. Do it. Provide a little value, lace in some humor, maybe play a question game with him over text message and you won’t ruin anything or screw anything up. That being said, you do have to figure out if he is into you. If not (and it sounds like he probably is), you have to figure out if you are ok with that kind of relationship with him.
Hope that helps!July 29, 2015 at 6:40 pm #83433
Thank you, everyone! Yes, I see how the “mind games” can be confusing as not everyone has the same definition as others. What I mean is not going “female full force” on him. (In case you aren’t aware: women come off as several things when they are wondering if a man is interested or not. Please note this is not all women and that my ex was my first relationship ever, at 22, so what I am saying is based on mostly observation. 1- clingy/desperate 2-questioning and doubtful; insecure in their decisions and thoughts. 3- C.R.A.Z.Y, yes, I use that word to describe my own gender 4- lonely and 5 to REITERATE: really, really INSECURE) I just don’t want to come off that way with him because he is UBER-AWESOME! I just want to be able to read what signs he’s giving me, I don’t want to jump the gun and scare him… I’d feel really awful. So, I just want to know how he is thinking and what I can do to make him comfortable texting me and not like “lady be craaazy” he really is a great person
everythingParticipantJuly 31, 2015 at 11:29 am #83456
number 1 = he’s a gentleman.
number 2 = traditionally yes, the man marries the woman he chases the most, but we’ve seen some role reversal on that.
He’s probably just shy, I was and still am. He might be a little ashamed that he’s a 3rd shifter, I did 3rd, and now I’m on a 2nd shift, and I’ll never have anyone, in fact it eventually devastated my health and in my 40’s I’m no good for anyone.
On games, you know that’s not going to get you anywhere, and at the end of date/day someone is confused/left with wrong idea, etc. Simplicity goes a long, long way, just being with that someone is .. in many ways .. everything. If you want a kiss, just ask, that’s what they do to me, heck I’ve had girls ask me outright for sex, kinda disgusting, but a goodnight kiss is fair 😉 Otherwise start with the hug, then give him a smack on the cheek, or lips, stand back and see what his face is showing.August 4, 2015 at 2:08 pm #83558
thank you “everything”! I hope you get a more confident outlook on yourself… I think everyone deserves someone, and even in your 40’s you should be able to find a woman of high value that is right for you 🙂 I’m hopeful that you will find happiness, as you seem to be a kind person.
blaket81ParticipantAugust 4, 2015 at 6:45 pm #83575
I can tell you that if a guy takes a girl to dinner and it is considered a date HE PAYS. I dated a girl for a while that i wasn’t really interested in because i didn’t want to hurt her feelings, i was basically a coward and it took me a while to let her down easy, but i still paid for every meal because i believe the man should always pay. When you’re commited to each other maybe you can start splitting meals but the guy should still be paying for some meals even then.
On to point number 2, i am the exact opposite of the guy stereotype, it is absolutely impossible for me to suffocate. For me i can never talk to my significant other too much. I want to be smothered. If it were me i’d want to to text me as often as YOU wanted. If i’m like this i’m sure there are other guys like that too, but i couldn’t tell you if this guy is like that too.
LondonguyParticipantAugust 8, 2015 at 10:05 am #83735
Maybe he is just shy
vargez4ParticipantAugust 8, 2015 at 12:55 pm #83737
Watch out if he ever happens to talk a little oddly, lets say he suddenly shows interest, but when he get wrong response from you. He might try to change the subject.
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