How do you guys decide when you ask someone if they would like to date you?

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How do you guys decide when you ask someone if they would like to date you?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    February 2, 2019 at 10:37 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Keanu
    Keanu
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 10:32 am #185774
    How do you guys decide when you ask someone if they would like to date you?

    I’m (16M Junior) pretty inexperienced when it comes to dating cause I’ve never actually been in one, but I would like to start trying in order to get some experience and know what I like later in life. Anyways I wanted to ask you guys a couple questions:

    When and how do you decide to ask someone if they would like to date you?

    Do you ask them when you know them a little more than but being friends?

    Or do you ask them in order to get to know them?

    For example for me: The is a girl(16F Sophomore) that I like in my class. I know a good amount about her and we talk a lot of over text and Snapchat. However, we don’t talk much in person, she seems kind of shy. So based on that, what would be my next steps in order to form a relationship with her? Should I wait a little longer and try to know a little more about her, or should I try and show her/telling her that I like her and then proceed to ask if she would like to hang out?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 12:42 pm #185954

    High school dating and adult dating are two different worlds.

    In high school all you need to do is be friendly with a girl and invite her to attend the “Homecoming Game” or some other school function.
    You also have the option of coming off (very casual) by inviting girls to “hang out” with a group of friends who are going to be somewhere.
    Other possible dates are matinee movies, bowling, amusement park, beach, or going to a concert/local festival…

    At this point it’s not necessary for you to announce you “like” the girl.
    Not many guys would invest time and money taking out a girl they did NOT like.
    Flirting and laughing together is usually a sign there is mutual attraction.

    Since you talk a lot via text. Send her a text and ask her if she’d be interested in seeing a movie with you this weekend.
    It’s that easy! Afterwards you can grab a quick bite to eat and talk about the movie.

    Never try to become “friends” first because it’s so hard to get out of the “friend zone”!

    Lilspaceghost
    Lilspaceghost
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 2:04 pm #185966

    To answer your first question, it really just depends on you and how you feel about the person. If it feels like the right time then that’s when you go for it. For your second question, you can ask them to be friends but take note that doesn’t always work out in the way you want. Just talk to them more and get to know them and decide from there where you go. Although you can express interest in them and go hangout more to get to know them better.

    As for your situation, I would try talking to her more in person first. Use that time to see if she is interested in you. If you feel like she is, then go for it and tell her! And while it may not be “necessary” to announce it but trust me she will appreciate you telling her! Also forget about the “friend zone” that is a load of bull. All it means is that your friend doesn’t return your romantic feelings and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    sammisam
    sammisam
    Participant
    October 7, 2018 at 3:08 pm #186415

    Definitely try talking to her I person! Maybe invite her to sit with you at lunch or work on homework or study for a test together.

    leyla
    leyla
    Participant
    October 8, 2018 at 10:57 am #186434

    actually show your interested. ask questions, set dates and times.

    Dawson
    Dawson
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 3:30 am #193477

    If you have confidence in the outcome or see signs of flirtatious actions then it wouldn’t hurt to ask face to face if they would like to grab a bute to eat or something to that extent

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 7:01 am #193478

    Welcome to the world of dating and relationships. Wow! What a potentially exciting and confusing time. Think about how complicated your relationship is with yourself. A lot of feelings; some more comfortable and pleasant than others. Now consider another person with their relationship to themselves. When two people start to date you have the combination of you, the other person and now the combination of the two of you. There is a great deal of stimulation. some is exciting and some often creates worry, anxiety, and confusion.

    Learning to date is very similar to learning to drive a car. You first learn how to control the car and slowly progress to traveling in more crowded and faster moving roads. In dating you are the car. Take it slow. Know where you want to go. In this case you want to first spend more time simply talking to this girl. First by text, then by phone or at school in person. Then traveling together to another place what we call a date. the date is a destination.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 7:13 am #193479

    The date is not this big thing you go after. It is the natural development of two people connecting through talking that leads to wanting to continue connecting in person at some agreed upon location. The car is driving down a specific road at a specific speed. That’s it. Don’t make anything more of it. You are taking your connection with this young woman for a test ride.

    When and how do you decide to ask someone if they would like to date you? Dating is not an event it evolves from a process. Keep talking to this young woman knowing that you want to take this connection to some agreed upon location. T

    Do you ask them when you know them a little more than but being friends? If the connection between the two of you develops look for the signs, the words, the hints that she wants to spend more time with you. The first step is to increase your communication first by text and then phone or in person talk at school. Trust what you are feeling. When you feel the green light go for it.