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twilesParticipantJanuary 11, 2019 at 1:17 am #192423
Well, I just started dating the sweetest guy I have ever met. He is the same religion as me, we both love basketball, and I find him really funny and attractive. I feel really lucky to be with him. I recently have gotten caught up with some red flags. He is 28, still lives with his parents, he has one part time job, he still hasn’t finished his bachelors degree, he has a lot of debt, and his parents are still giving him a monthly allowance. I’m horrified with the way he has handled his money and refused to grow up. I’m very different than him and I bring it up now every time we talk. He jokes around about being spoiled but it really bothers me. When we had a serious talk, he said he would work on it. I don’t know what to do. Is this worth breaking up about? Is it bad that he doesn’t have his life together still?
incanadaParticipantJanuary 11, 2019 at 3:03 am #192424
Sweet, funny and attractive.
Also immature, dependent, unambitious.
This ain’t about money it’s about character and he has some traits you obviously don’t like.
dashingscorpioParticipantJanuary 11, 2019 at 1:48 pm #192456
“He is 28, still lives with his parents, he has one part time job, he still hasn’t finished his bachelors degree, he has a lot of debt, and his parents are still giving him a monthly allowance.” Hmmm, What is the word I’m looking for…. LOSER!!!
If you’re just dating someone for the “fun of it” money doesn’t matter at all.
However if you are considering marriage, building a future with someone, having children, or even cohabitating…
Money matters! (Big Time). Poverty Sucks!
“He jokes around about being spoiled but it really bothers me.”
Avoid taking on a “project”! Generally speaking people don’t change unless (they) are unhappy.
The goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine!
- This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by dashingscorpio.
justinarrogParticipantJanuary 13, 2019 at 9:05 pm #192493
Not much but if you have more money a girl is more likely to like you (not always the case)
yardyParticipantJanuary 15, 2019 at 6:50 pm #192675
He sounds like he’s got no goal in life and I’m not sure if you can have a future with him.
heavenscrownParticipantJanuary 15, 2019 at 9:58 pm #192680
If he isn’t willing to take his finances seriously he is not ready to take you seriously
RuyParticipantJanuary 22, 2019 at 12:41 am #193081
If you care about him enough, dont break up. But dont let yourself get draged down either
ThynightParticipantJanuary 22, 2019 at 11:53 pm #193202
This is a personal thing. How much are you willing to put up with?
For me I wouldn’t be happy unless he changed and that is unlikely.
cheeringforloveParticipantJanuary 23, 2019 at 11:01 am #193250
To be honest, it sounds like if he’s 28 and he still doesn’t have his life figured out, he never will.
LJWentworth32ParticipantJanuary 23, 2019 at 10:37 pm #193305
id say it depends but its important. its up there.
GJParticipantJanuary 24, 2019 at 8:47 am #193302
Run, run, run.
carajaneParticipantFebruary 4, 2019 at 8:25 am #194094
I don’t think it is about money. it is about him being a responsible adult. At 28 him not taking life to serious is kind of a red fleg for me. What do you want from him? What do you want from this relationship? Anything you do, don’t settle for less 🙂 it’s not worth it.
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