How long is too much “space” when a girl dating requests it???

DATING ADVICE FORUM

How long is too much “space” when a girl dating requests it???

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 6:51 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    beachtraveller
    beachtraveller
    Participant
    April 3, 2020 at 8:43 pm #232568
    How long is too much “space” when a girl dating requests it???

    This is kind of long so please bear with me as I’m not sure what to do. I had been dating a girl for close to two months. I already had plans to go to Mexico before we met but two weeks before I was going we decided to get her a flight as well and did. She had recently moved back to Chicago from Arizona but accidentally had left her passport at her old apartment where her roommate still lived. We now about this when purchasing the ticket figuring the roommate or a friend could just send it in the meantime. Long story, but turns out none of her friends out there were returning her messages and not being helpful supposedly. Everything between us had been going well but the week we were going she still didn’t have her passport in hand. That week she started being distant and the morning I was leaving for Mexico she sent this: …….

    beachtraveller
    beachtraveller
    Participant
    April 3, 2020 at 8:43 pm #232569

    “I hope you have a good trip. I haven’t texted you because I don’t want to be a rain cloud but I honestly just want to be left alone. I’m feeling really low about my entire life” followed by she needed space and will get in touch with me when I get back when she feels ready. I respected her space and when I returned the first week of March I just let her know travels were safe and that I hope she’s dong okay. She responded with “I’m glad you got home safe. Shits just been horrible for me, today my roommate told me that I have to leave, which I’ve been wanting to do but it being so unexpected and uncomfortable feeling is just the worst. I’ll be in contact soon.” Her profession is a bartender so that is not helping matters with restaurants and bars being closed probably adding to her stress. I said I’m sorry she’s going through everything and that I’m here if she needs anything. Then a week later I checked in and haven’t heard anything……

    ShriMaran
    ShriMaran
    Participant
    April 4, 2020 at 3:09 am #232573

    If she wants space that is a nice way of saying she is done with you.

    So give her forever “space” and just move on and find someone who actually wants to be with you and does not need that proverbial “space”;

    Anyone who wants space, just give it to them forever and move on.

    Also, if you want her back…

    beachtraveller
    beachtraveller
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 8:53 am #232570

    Sooooooo…..she initially asked for space just over a month ago, I’ve respected that for the most part. Is this over since it’s been this long or should I continue to ride it out or try contacting her once more? She may actually be going through stuff i.e. living situation, finances due to covid-19, etc.
    I’m 41 y/o and she’s 35 so not sure why we can’t communicate like adults with everything she’s going through.

    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 3:59 am #232607

    That sucks, as dating often does. And it sucks when you care about somebody who is struggling but they push you away. I’d say it’s about 90% she’s done with you, and don’t hold your breath for that 10%. If this is that 10%, then she’ll initiate contact with you when she’s ready, as she’s said. Until then, move on. And if you still give a shit in the event that she contacts you, then you can pick it up from there. Date other people. The next good date goes a long way towards forgetting stuff like this.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 2:39 pm #232622

    I suspect she’s distancing herself from you.
    Clearly if someone doesn’t want to spend time with you (they) are NOT “the one” for you.

    The first couple of months of any budding “new relationship” is normally the “infatuation phase”.
    All this drama with the “friends” in Arizona cutting her off and now the current roommate in Chicago wants her out…
    Something seems “fishy” to me.

    This is the kind of situation where some guys try to come to the rescue.
    In the end they feel used and yet the girl will tell them they never (ASKED) for their help.

    From what you’ve written it doesn’t sound like you two were ever an official “couple”.
    You weren’t her boyfriend and she wasn’t your girlfriend. You were just dating.
    It’s important to keep your options open by dating multiple people when {there is no actual relationship}.
    It reduces the painful affects of being “ghosted” and help keeps you from emotionally investing too quickly.

    I’d move on. She’ll call if she wants to.