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adams_maxParticipantMay 14, 2017 at 3:43 pm #136390
She and I have known each other for 2 years. We were working at the same office. However, we got together last November. We fell for each other and got into a committed relationship. We couldn’t be happier. She had full faith in me. I left the job 3 months back but we still regularly met. None of our arguments even last for more than 2 days. A month back some things happened. We both got to hear things about each other’s past which were not pleasant. While I gradually accepted the facts, she couldn’t quite be okay with mine. So we sat together and she told me that she needs some space. She acknowledges that this is unfair for me, she just needs to be herself for the time being. She wants to explore her career choices as well, if she wants to go abroad or not and take some serious decisions for her life. We can still talk and meet sometimes but we can’t be “us”. I tried to ask for a time and she said “I would know”.
How do I react in this situation? I want to get her back in my life!
anonymous1318ParticipantMay 15, 2017 at 2:01 pm #136459
Well without knowing the past information I’m a big believer that the past should stay in the past and unfortunately it doesn’t see like she wants to let that go. I personally think best course of action here is to do nothing. If she wants to you, she will be back, but trying to force it is not going to make it happen.
rhohnkeParticipantMay 21, 2017 at 1:59 am #137073
I agree with the comment made above. Everyone’s pasts leads us to another. There is a reason we meet people and people come and go in our lives. Ignore her. Be distant. If she wants to be with you she needs to realize your “value” and that she can’t be without you. Time will tell unfortunately.
BigTedBearParticipantMay 21, 2017 at 4:28 am #137075
I have to partially disagree with the 2 other posters. However, without knowing its hard to say. The past can play a significant part in ones personality and demeanor. In any event i need a break is usually code for lets break up. I would give her the space she desires. Call some friends and start hanging out and have some fun. The moving abroad comment is concerning. My X did the same thing. This was her way of implying i might move so we should break up. I knew her very well and i was 90% sure she wasnt going anywhere. However, she vaguely hinted that we should breakup since she might move. Although we continued to hang out we were technically on break. I put up w this for months before i worked up the courage to end it. Dont make the same mistake. Give her a month, two tops…
- This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by BigTedBear.
NISMO1ParticipantMay 21, 2017 at 7:30 pm #137104
I obviously don’t know what you did in the past. Depending on how severe it is, I see where she is coming from. The issue is not quite how one should process the past. Many of these posters seem to be commenting in the abstract. Sure, in an ideal scenario, the past is allowed to be the past. What matters here is what happens now that your girlfriend broke with this, and believes it to be a big deal. Well, once she says she wants space, I would suggest waiting about two weeks. After that, give her flowers with a note that says you couldn’t bear being away from her for that long. If this attempt fails, then I’m afraid it’s over. Give her another couple weeks, and then tell her it’s over. The attempt to reconcile after a period of time is essential here. After that, move on. What I would ask you is whether or not you think this girl is the one. When you’re apart, do you think about her daily? Do you go to bed, thinking of her? Do you miss her, or do you miss the company of a girlfriend?
AnonymousInactiveMay 21, 2017 at 11:05 pm #137114
Btw how was her past I am sure it is not perfect either I really don’t what to say but I think it is a sign that she wants to break up. Now if you really care about her and you truly want her back then I would go to Amazon look under books and type in How Do I Get My Ex Back. I heard that is supposed to be very popular and then go and buy some flowers like NISMO1 said. I wish you the best.
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