How to handle texting before we meet?

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How to handle texting before we meet?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    February 11, 2020 at 6:11 pm #229457
    How to handle texting before we meet?

    Hello,
    I am a 36 year old male, and matched with a girl on Happn. We had a nice discussion by texting every day for the past few days, I proposed her to go out for a drink, and she said yes. However, she said that she is not available this week, and proposed to meet in a week, next Tuesday.
    How should I handle messaging until we meet? I am afraid that if we keep sending long, daily messages, this would somehow spoil the meeting, because we would have already said too much by text. On the other hand, if I don’t text her at all, I am afraid that we may lose touch…

    Marshland
    Marshland
    Participant
    February 11, 2020 at 6:47 pm #229458

    Yes, this is a difficult balancing act. Your texts should neither be too needy nor too casual.

    Try to focus on informal stuff with an intent to the ‘upcoming’ date. And if you get texts from her every day or two without prompting, even better.

    In all, I would keep a list of topics handy for the conversation before the date and exclusive of the texting.

    guitarmonster
    guitarmonster
    Participant
    February 12, 2020 at 12:28 pm #229522

    Karl, I have been where you are and I think I have some good advice for you. Firstly, when it comes to texting/communication, keep it at a comfortable level. The “comfort level” is whatever you and her are comfortable with. If you and her have had some great conversations leading up to this, then just go with the flow.

    I used to have issues with messaging and texting and started to learn to go with the “ball in your court” method. So I send her a message and I wait for her to respond. If she doesn’t respond, I don’t keep messaging her. She might be busy, at work, out with friends, asleep, sick, in a car accident, who knows? If I don’t hear back from her, I told take it personally, I just assume that she hasn’t had the time to get around to it for one reason or the other. Or maybe she is testing me to see if I can handle being on me own, maybe she is testing my self esteem. BTW, she might be thinking the same thing on her end.

    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    February 14, 2020 at 8:47 am #229649

    @Marshland and @guitarmonster, you both seem to give reasonable advices, thank you! I will let you know how this goes 🙂

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 14, 2020 at 3:54 pm #229687

    I would just text every couple of days just to say “Hi” and see how her day is going.

    It’s not just up to YOU as to whether the date happens or not!

    Ultimately if she is “into you” she’ll make sure to meet you for the date.
    If she’s not she won’t.

    In the meantime you should be communicating with other women!
    Don’t act like you’re in a committed relationship when you’re not.
    The people who are most affected by being “ghosted” are those who emotionally invest too soon.

    If you were job hunting you wouldn’t stop emailing resumes just because you had a great interview with one company!

    Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to keep searching.
    Therefore (keep your options open) by talking with and meeting other women. It will reduce the sting if she flakes on you.

    Hopefully the date will happen but if it doesn’t don’t let it get you down.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
    Best wishes!

    kinglove12
    kinglove12
    Participant
    February 15, 2020 at 7:11 am #229701

    keep them short but sweet and always be nice

    kinglove12
    kinglove12
    Participant
    February 15, 2020 at 7:12 am #229702

    show her how much u like her ask her what she wnts to do

    jnc07
    jnc07
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 9:21 am #229717

    Text every now and then but not everyday

    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    February 17, 2020 at 8:15 am #229695

    Thank you for the good advice.

    I understand that from what I wrote, it may seem that I am too emotionally attached to this particular one. However, I am in contact with about five other women, and have other dates planned. I know that the same thing may be happening on their side too.. 🙂

    Ander
    Ander
    Participant
    February 17, 2020 at 10:06 am #229786
    Reply To: How to handle texting before we meet?

    I agree… a couple of causal, relaxes texts should to the trick.

    420DotDating
    420DotDating
    Participant
    February 20, 2020 at 5:34 pm #230213
    Reply To: How to handle texting before we meet?

    Texting is a good way to “break the ice” . Should send multiples to your date.

    unmissable2
    unmissable2
    Participant
    February 22, 2020 at 2:47 am #230298
    Reply To: How to handle texting before we meet?

    Pretend she’s a friend. However often you text your friends, text her a similar amount. That way you’re definitely not going overboard.

    Chad
    Chad
    Participant
    February 24, 2020 at 8:11 am #230292
    Reply To: How to handle texting before we meet?

    I would say, keep in mind the upcoming date and, have a goal in mind say, to kiss at the end of it and, keep that goal in mind in the steps you take between now and the date and, even on the date and, like others have said, be working on other girls so, if she ghosts at any point, it’s not an issue.