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SunflowerParticipantMarch 1, 2015 at 10:22 am #74432
Recently I started texting with a guy, and we went on a date. He came on strong, i.e. touching me throughout the date, and saying how I fulfilled all of his expectations, etc. H was nice, but this made me uncomfortable, so I told him that I wanted to take it slow and get to know each other, and not just dive into anything. I wasn’t referring to sex, just I was interested in getting to know him better before making any commitments. He seemed to understand. He then started to text me very frequently, and I started to realize that he was more into me than I was to him. During this time I went on another 1st date, with a guy that I ended up really liking. So I decided to contact the first guy, and tell him that I didn’t want to see him again. He sent me a message that I led him, and I was just shopping around for better options at the expense of his feelings, and that I’m a horrible person. We went on one date, were texting for a week. What should I do? How could I handled this better?
jodi09ParticipantMarch 2, 2015 at 11:50 am #74478
If it only took a week of texting and one date for this guy to get that attached, sweetie, YOU’RE not the one with the problem. You told him that you didn’t want to jump into anything, you wanted to take it slow, and you eased back. If he couldn’t take the hint, there was nothing else you could have done. You can lay it all on the table and others STILL may not see it, but that’s not your fault. If you’re not in a relationship with anyone or led anyone to believe that you were, you have the right to exercise options, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Neither should YOU feel bad or guilty because someone else decided to relinquish control of themselves and ignore common sense. I don’t personally think that you handled this wrong, you were honest and forthcoming. I think no matter how you handled this, he was going to find fault and blame YOU because he was hurt.
SMSParticipantMarch 2, 2015 at 5:20 pm #74523
Whatever you may do be careful because it looks like this guy was kind of in love with you or like really attracted to you before even you started dating. So he could go to extreme lengths.
SMSParticipantMarch 3, 2015 at 8:34 am #74527
And can I get your advice on my thread? here is link
taraParticipantMarch 7, 2015 at 9:53 pm #74983
I had a very similiar situation about a year ago. I had 1 date and 1-2 weeks of texting with a guy. He was clingy, needy, smothering, insecure, overeager and desperate. After 1 date he thought we were “together” and was telling me he was deleting his dating profile and not seeing anyone else. Way too fast for me. Going out with a guy only 1 time and exchanging some texts does not mean you led him on. The guy I went out with had the same reaction when I ended things with him, told me how I shouldn’t have pretended to like him, ect.
MantyrParticipantMarch 10, 2015 at 10:37 pm #75182
I don’t really care about telling you what is “right” or “wrong” because people tend to make decisions they want to make anyways.
If you want him to stop talking to you intentionally taper him down.
As time goes on intentionally space out how often you respond until it is eventually almost never to finally just never.
He will eventually burn out his own and you won’t have problem anymore.
Easily can be completely done in a week, perhaps a bit faster.
Just remember when you finally stop once and for all you need to stick to your guns or your back at square one again.
DavidHooHaaParticipantMarch 12, 2015 at 9:45 pm #75298
Sounds like he’s kind of crazy. Block him, drop him and run! People who get too close too quick almost always end up being controlling, abusive, and stalkers so get out while you can.
RobbyMParticipantMarch 13, 2015 at 8:57 am #75275
I believe you did nothing wrong on your end. You handled the situation good and this was honestly a bad situation on his part. His feelings were in a different space when he first met you. He could be a guy who just loves easily or he could be just looking for a quick rebound. Whatever the cause, his aggressiveness obviously didn’t spark any interests from your end, so I would say this is all on him. One note to leave you is to try a read men a little better so you can somewhat avoid situations that you wouldn’t want to get yourself in. Ask more questions through phone conversations or texts and see if it is even worth your time spent on a date. I know its easier said then done, but once you do it a few times you will be on the right path.
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