I (19F) like my housemate (19M) and I feel he might like me back, what do I do?

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I (19F) like my housemate (19M) and I feel he might like me back, what do I do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    rawan99
    rawan99
    Participant
    October 23, 2018 at 2:12 pm #187747
    I (19F) like my housemate (19M) and I feel he might like me back, what do I do?

    TLDR; I like a roommate, who from what I can tell may like me too, and I’m stuck on what to do! I don’t want to create a stressful/awkward dynamic in the house.
    I’d like to preface this long-ass topic by saying that I’ve never dated before and as a result I often have no clue how to act romantically. I used to react with a repulsed sort of attitude (even though I never felt that way) but thank god I have grown out of that. As well, I don’t like being too obvious or straightforward about topics relating to romance, but I really like this dude. I’m sure this story will have plenty of moments where I could’ve acted more forward and gotten a better result, so please don’t facepalm too often otherwise your face will hurt. Warning you now :).

    This is going to be a long message so I’m going to split it up in multiple posts.

    rawan99
    rawan99
    Participant
    October 23, 2018 at 2:12 pm #187748

    I’m a college student in my second year, and was brought into the house by a couple of my good friends (male). All house members are in the same program, but some of us are in different streams, including myself and this particular guy. I’m going to refer to him as Noah, which is a code name my friend and I use to refer to him.
    At first I thought he was a quiet guy, but it turns out that he can be quite social, which is much like myself. We share many interests and traits, such as our sense of humour, which is a big thing for me in a SO. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Noah the past few months, from hanging in the living room talking or doing work to going out to parties with each other. It’s not something I specifically seek out in a person, but Noah also has a great sense of style and smells pretty nice (that sounds weird, but I don’t mean it to be hahaha). Our program is quite work heavy, but we’ve managed to find time to hang out with each other regardless (other housemates

    rawan99
    rawan99
    Participant
    October 23, 2018 at 2:40 pm #187749

    will be there too). Often it’s the case that I’ll be sitting in the living room and Noah’ll come home, drop off his bag in his room, and come and sit with me on the couch.

    My college is known for its Homecoming weekend, which occurred semi recently. People always get really crazy on the Friday and Saturday, and it’s definitely one of the biggest highlights of the semester. I knew I wanted to spend time with him, but little did I know that he’d end up sticking by my side for the entire weekend, from morning to night! We were with other people the majority of the time, but often we’d split from one group and meet up with another, and yet he’d stick with me. On the Friday, we waited in line for over four hours to get into an event at a pub, only to have the other people we were waiting with go somewhere else at the last minute. I was a bit sad that they left, but this ended up being really fun for me, as I spent the next hour or so laughing around and playing games while drinking beer

    Jxabynebk123
    Jxabynebk123
    Participant
    October 24, 2018 at 1:32 am #187794

    As a 19y/o man myself who is also busy with college, I can tell you that if he didn’t have some kind of interest in you, he wouldn’t spend so much time sticking around. I think that you should make a move when the time is right. If it doesn’t work out just avoid drama and stay respectful and everything should be fine.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 25, 2018 at 1:31 pm #187866

    yeah he’s definitely interested and it sounds like you guys have a great rapport together and can definitely date and be a great couple. But that’s the EASY PART.

    The HARD part here is whether it’s a good idea to pursue this or not. (this is very similar to whether people should date co-workers). The chances are – any relatinship at this point would not work out, and thus a break-up is very likely at some point. Would the household, or you 2, be okay IF things got bad and ended up breaking up? Would it make it weird with the entire house if you two started being a couple (aka when you start having sex – you obviously have no place to go for privacy since yo both live in the same location). ARe either of you willing or okay or able to move out or re-locate if things don’t work out int he middle of a semester or school year?

    It MAY be.. the best option to just keep it as friends and wait until one or both of you move out. Or you can figure out a way to have privacy away from the rest.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 26, 2018 at 8:20 pm #188020

    It’s either case of two people who are “romantically challenged” or you both fear rejection, or he only sees you as a friend.
    The best way to escape the “friend zone” is to make a move.

    Flirting and using subtle sexual innuendo is a common way to break the ice.
    If he doesn’t engage in any with flirty banter with you he’s probably not romantically interested in you.

    Another tactic might be to ask him a little bit about his romantic past,
    It can be as simple as asking if he went to his high school prom? or What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
    Asking questions about who is his favorite (band, singer, actor, movie, vacation destination, type of food….etc.)
    Hopefully has enough interest in you to ask you similar questions. If he doesn’t he probably isn’t romantically interested.

    Most men who are physically/sexually attracted to women will make a move.
    In a world with over 7 billion people rejection just means: Next!
    Hooking up with a roommate has risks if you have a bad breakup.