I dont know what I’m doing

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I dont know what I’m doing

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Dancer1959
    Dancer1959
    Participant
    February 27, 2020 at 8:21 pm #230623
    I dont know what I’m doing

    I started dating a great guy about 2 1/2 months ago I’m 60, widowed, and he’s 56, divorced. We met on a dating site where we both expressed a desire for a long term committed relationship. We have agreed not to see anybody else.Things are going well. We were seeing each other 3 times a week at first, then for a couple of week it was only once a week. He said he was going through some things. He always talks about things we will do together, but my work schedule has been rough. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we stay in. We communicate everyday. Generally I text first, which he says he really likes, but if I dont I always hear from him. We each have a toothbrush in the others home. He has met my son, and will be meeting my best friend and her man next week. which he asked to do. Sex is awesome and we always spend the night together. He has expressed fear that at 6 months I will dump him as thats happened to him before. I am scared he will disappear. How do I stop being so unsure?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 28, 2020 at 11:06 am #230638

    It sounds like you both moved too quickly especially in the case of becoming an “exclusive couple”.
    The purpose “dating” is to determine if you’re compatible, have chemistry, and share the same values.
    A common mistake a lot of people make is they jump into a committed relationship without knowing someone.

    ‘”We were seeing each other 3 times a week at first, then for a couple of week it was only once a week.”
    “He has expressed fear that at 6 months I will dump him as thats happened to him before. I am scared he will disappear”
    Based upon that statement it appears you both have (fear of abandonment) issues.

    “He said he was going through some things.”
    “How do I stop being so unsure?”

    It’s natural to be {unsure} of someone you’ve only known for 10 weeks!
    You’re still in the “infatuation/honeymoon phase” of a new relationship.
    You’ve haven’t revealed your “authentic selves” yet.
    Until you’ve had major disagreements and “heart to heart” talks you won’t know each other.