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CollegeGirlAnnie96ParticipantMay 15, 2017 at 6:10 pm #136501
So this year I had my first serious relationship (I’m a junior in college). We dated for 7 months and then he randomly ended it with me a week ago saying he “wanted to work on himself.” I suggested going on a break instead and giving him some time to think, and he agreed. Then, we messaged today and he told me he had doubts because he doesn’t think he can manage a relationship while being more focused on his other goals. I asked him if he wanted to be single so he could talk to other girls and he said that wasn’t the case. So I told him we could just be friends for now until he was ready…. Now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be just friends but I also don’t want to lose him.
AnonymousMay 17, 2017 at 7:29 pm #136826
Wow, that is a sad story, but the good news is there are a lot of guys in college you do have your pick. I know you don;t want to lose him but you both are young. If that was your first serious relationship I got a hunch you will have a lot of relations before the right man comes along. You might even find a better man. I would say right now give him space and I know from instinct he will be dating other women and then he finds you were the best of them all. The question is are you willing to accept him back.
Ocean77ParticipantMay 17, 2017 at 9:24 pm #136828
I would like to believe in the better nature of people and trust in what they are saying. I bet you this guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you currently because he doesn’t believe he can give you the attention you deserve. Personally, I believe that when we use the phrase like “wanting to work on ourselves” it is just a vague answer that we hope is acceptable because we don’t know a better way to explain what seems to be the problem. If he is willing I’d try to sit down and talk with him and find out exactly what seems to be troubling him and how he feels a relationship might affect that.
AmandaParticipantMay 18, 2017 at 8:22 pm #136902
I’m sorry you’re going through that. It might not be the easy choice, but maybe it’s best to try to move on because for whatever reason he’s just not interested in a relationship and you deserve someone to be fully committed to you.
clementine000ParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 11:41 am #136936
I think you should just move on. I know it’s hard to hear, but he’s trying to distance himself.
Mel4everableParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 12:35 pm #136947
How despicable! That is no story that any girl wants to hear. I suggest that you not feel badly about being a distraction to him but take this time as well to get to know yourself better. I understand him wanting to pursue his goals but he should also be disciplined enough to be able to mange his personal pursuits and you as well. Considering that he is distancing himself from you I’d distance myself from him as well. You deserve better than this sweetheart. I also don’t think that I am fond with you guys being friends at this stage; maybe later after your feelings have dwindled but not now. It’ll be hard but move on and find somebody else who is willing and proud to have you.
CollegeGirlAnnie96ParticipantJune 5, 2017 at 7:17 pm #138506
Thank you everyone. I’m going to try and move on. He now changed his answer and says that it wasn’t just him, he was also unhappy with the relationship because we argued and there was a lot of jealousy. He says he doesn’t think we will ever get back together again… :/
Kenneth87ParticipantJune 5, 2017 at 8:32 pm #138518
Also for future reference. If you put yourself in a position where you’re friends with the guy you’re in love with, you’re setting yourself up for a fall. He won’t always be single and you’ll stand on the outside looking at what you want.
You’ll just hurt yourself so avoid it.
Brokenhearted30ParticipantJune 5, 2017 at 10:19 pm #138524
Uh this is literally so similar to my status, I don’t know what to do either! Being friends seems so off to the side, honestly I would hang out with him and give him a really good time that he will think back on and then cut communication a bit. It worked in my situation, but I’m still trying to figure out what to do to get him back. But definitely give him something to think about!
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