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RafNYParticipantOctober 26, 2017 at 6:29 pm #154245
Could really use some advice here from some of you that have more experience dating. My fiance moved out a few months ago so Ive been trying to date other women. We have been together for a really long time so I dont have much experience dating. Heres my situation-
I met this girl online, we had a coffee date. I feel like she enjoyed the coffee date but it got little awkward at the end when I asked if she wants to see each other again and for her number. Anyway, I texted her a couple of days later “it was nice meeting you hope we can do it again soon”. She replied the next day “it was nice meeting you too. agreed’ Few hours later I respoded “great…i know youre busy this weekend but lets definetly get together next week”
After that there was no response from her, it has now been a week since that text.
Should I text again and what should I say?
LocaParticipantOctober 26, 2017 at 9:56 pm #154252
When you want to pursue a woman, let her feel like she can make the decision. You win some, you lose some, so don’t get discouraged if she doesn’t reply.
When you said, “great…I know you’re busy this weekend, but lets definitely get together next week.”, it probably made her feel like you didn’t offer her the choice by not asking. By saying “definitely” and “next week”, you are demanding a set date. Don’t seem too straightforward.
Just say something like, “Hey, how are you? I apologize if I may have upset you earlier, but I enjoyed meeting you and would love to get to know you better. Let me know whats good for you if you’re interested. Have a good day.”
You can obviously revise this to your liking but just look at the key points. A nice greeting and goodbye, apologizing to make her feel like you aren’t a creep and offering a get together on HER time. This sets a softer mood for her to feel like she can choose. Once again, don’t be discouraged if she is uninterested.
RafNYParticipantOctober 26, 2017 at 11:06 pm #154257
Thanks for the advice…this is exactly the sort of feedback I was looking for.
Maybe you can give me some more insight…at the end of the coffee date, I asked if she would like to see each other again and if I could have her number. I didn’t want her to feel like I wasn’t interested but I feel like it kind of rattled her like she wasn’t prepared for that question. Do you think its better to just not ask those things at the end of the first meet up? Maybe just stick to messaging on the dating app until another more substantial date? I feel like she might not have much dating experience either…
LocaParticipantOctober 27, 2017 at 9:21 am #154268
Once again, I feel its safest to ask what she prefers. So if you haven’t already sent the meetup message, find a place to throw in the question of what she wants. Does she want to continue on the app or text? Don’t be afraid to ask. But also don’t hound with too many questions. If you even want to turn it into a statement, that works. “Whatever is best for you” or “Whatever you feel works best” are examples. So instead of asking you can even suggest options and see if she chooses one or has her own choice in mind. I feel like anything can be brought up, but with the right person and if you feel comfortable enough to do it. So why not?
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