I just don't get him

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I just don't get him

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 11:48 am #190509
    I just don't get him

    Over a year ago, I came across this guy at a training seminar. He seemed to be impressed with my work and said he was going to contact me and we’d go out to lunch. He didn’t and I didn’t bother getting in touch with him either.

    A few months ago, we met again. He apologized for not getting back to me and said that he did not forget about our lunch date. The next week, I received a gift from him at work.

    Weeks later, he decides to set a date.

    The day finally arrives. I did not know what to make of this and just put on anything and went out to lunch for the sake of politeness. He, too, seemed to have the same idea, as he made sure to get out of the restaurant within 45 minutes. Anyway, we had a great time and he insisted that we get together again and, once more, presented me with another gift. The gifts aren’t anything lavish: they are just a few trade publications that the company for which he works distributes and are related to my job.

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 11:49 am #190510

    The next day, he writes to me to let me know that he would be giving a workshop on a subject of interest, asks me to attend, and reiterates the fact that we need to meet up again. I agreed to go the session and asked him to suggest a date for our next get together. He did not respond to my request. Seeing that we both have crazy schedules, I did not make anything out of this.

    I did, however, go to the workshop. During the workshop, he made several subtle mentions and examples of things that were brought up at lunch and even asked the attendees if anyone had ever heard about the subject of the project that I was working on. I did not respond verbally to his question, but I did smile and subsequently emailed him a copy of the draft of my work, which he requested. Sadly, the workshop was a bust. He was a total mess to the point that those who knew him and the caliber of his work were not able to believe what they just saw. Did I make him nervous and act out of character?

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 11:56 am #190511

    At the end of the session, I approached him to thank him again for the gifts and nothing else. He started to pick a fight about the reason for which I was thanking him. I refuted his nonsensical arguments in a very calm and confusing tone, as I do not believe that I did anything wrong. In short, he was abrupt and nearly told me off. What am I to make of this behavior?

    A week has passed since we had any contact. I know that he is avoiding me and is refusing to respond to the above-mentioned email. I don’t mind giving him his much deserved space, especially after the workshop fiasco. However, I don’t like being played. Am I?

    Seeing that it is the holiday season, I thought of buying him a gift as a token of my appreciation, but am more inclined to return the manuals back to him. What should I do? Most importantly, what am I to make out of all this?

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 12:00 pm #190515

    Sorry about the duplicate post. I am having issues with my Internet connection.

    Thanks in advance for your help,

    Jas

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 5:57 pm #190558

    don’t do anything.
    i don’ think thre’s anything here.
    i don’t believe he’s worth your time either.

    nothign i read tells me there is interest in a relationship here, or that yo should b intereted in him.

    femibalos
    femibalos
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 10:04 am #190586

    sorry

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 8:34 pm #190664

    Thanks for the advice, though I still can’t figure out why he snapped at me. How can someone go from being the perfect gentleman to complete utter prick?

    NewToDating
    NewToDating
    Participant
    December 9, 2018 at 1:43 pm #190748

    He could possibly be going through something at the moment, maybe try to talk to him and figure out why he’s acting this way? If he continues to just give you the cold shoulder and not try to make things better then it’s best to start considering if he is worth your energy.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 9, 2018 at 6:51 pm #190753

    When two people want to go out on a date it’s never this difficult to make it happen.
    If you have to “figure out” someone it’s a clear sign they’re not into you.
    Let go and move on.

    Best wishes!

    jaszmeen
    jaszmeen
    Participant
    December 10, 2018 at 1:42 pm #190791
    Reply To: I just don't get him

    Thank you all for your time and responses! I agree, there is something unsettling about the whole situation.

    I just spoke to one of his buds. We do a lot of outsourcing, so he called me and asked if we will have anything in the next few months. Anyway, I found out that his colleague is mad at me for not verbally responding and actively participating in the workshop. Luckily, he did not identify me.

    That being said, I will eventually need to see workshop guy, not for personal interests, but for work-related purposes. I don’t want to call him, as it is easy for him to hang up. Nor do I want to email him, as he is still not acknowledging receipt of my last message (I have not written any additional emails to him). So, I was thinking of going to see him at his office. Any thoughts on how to deal with such an ego-crushed person? Is he playing me? I’ve dealt with many men in the past, but none of them have been this upset and held such a grudge.