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371054gParticipantSeptember 24, 2014 at 3:35 am #62453
Okay, I have been talking to girl A for a while and went on a few dates with her, but there’s no chemistry and I can’t see myself in a relationship, but she still obviously likes me. Girl A has a friend from work that I met through er (Girl B) that I get along with really well, and I was told the other week that Girl B likes me and I actually like girl B back.
Girl A however, still talks to me and invites me places even though I don’t initiate anything. I want to tell girl B i like her back and see if a relationship can go through that, but I also don’t want to hurt girl A. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do in this situation? Should I go after the one I like and potentially cause a mess? How should I let girl A know that I like girl B? Should I just let me going after girl B solve that problem?
amisdothirinParticipantSeptember 24, 2014 at 3:30 pm #62496
I would first talk to Girl B about the situation. If you met her through Girl A, then she knows that you and Girl A have been on a few dates. So Girl B might not want to be a “homewrecker”.
And of course first of all, if whoever told you that Girl B likes you is a credible source, then I would subtely mention it to Girl B. And then once she confirms that yes, she does like you (and will probably say something about not wanting to hurt Girl A), you two can work it out together somehow. Sure, it may sound like you’re going behind Girl A’s back, but it’s not the case. This is to create minimal drama and hurt feelings. After you and Girl B are on the same page, you can both talk it out together and see how to approach Girl A with the situation at hand. It would help to work with a mutual friend on this one.
And obviously, if your source is not credible and Girl B ends up not liking you, I would still say something to Girl A. Don’t string on a girl you don’t like. It’ll hurt her more.
don104ParticipantSeptember 24, 2014 at 8:40 pm #62507
I’ve been exactly where you are. Luckily we hadn’t been on but one date and it was around her friends. I didn’t string her along and made the proverbial “switch” quickly as to not hurt her. It worked out between me and the other girl for a while, but ended up ruining their friendship. I’m not saying that will happen to you, but think about if you really liked a girl and she ended up with your buddy even though you really liked her? That would be kind of tough to swallow, but if there’s no chemistry there’s no chemistry. I say talk to Girl B about it and see if you can make it work, if you can’t then you just move on. But at this point you can’t go back so you might as well try and find some chemistry or go for the other girl. If they aren’t really close friends it may not be too big of an issue so you never know what will happen. I always just go for what I want, and if it doesn’t work out, tough shit. You’ll get over it
AnonymousInactiveSeptember 25, 2014 at 2:56 am #62520
You have to tell girl a and b what is the situation you are facing, I think they are understand.
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