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tobetobeParticipantApril 21, 2020 at 8:41 am #233001
To date, or not to date, that is the question. I (M31) like one of my friends (F34). We hang out as a group, do several activities, share thoughts about various topics. As an inexperienced person, how to know that I am attracted to her as a romantic partner? She’s on my mind for the past 6 months.
I am inexperienced in dating. I am known to start having serious feelings for my partners after 3-4 dates. Now, I have known my friend for few years. However, since last year, we have been hanging out more frequently along with other members of my the group. After spending more time with her, I am feeling more and more seriously attracted to my friend over the past 6 months. We have a lot in common. However, I don’t know if this feeling is normal and healthy, if I should tell her my feelings, ask her out on date?
TwinkleParticipantApril 22, 2020 at 5:07 pm #233048
this is very tricky as you are not sure if she feels the same way. However why not try hanging out just the two of you without the other members of the group and see whether you’re both comfortable with just each other without the group hovering.
dashingscorpioParticipantApril 23, 2020 at 10:07 am #233085
“We hang out as a group..”
“I am inexperienced in dating.”
“I have known my friend for few years.”
Even the most experienced daters have a difficult time escaping the “Friend Zone”.
No where in your scenario did you mention any “stolen glances”, mutual flirting, or incidental touching while hanging out.
Based upon what you’ve written here it sounds like your revealing your feelings would come as a shock to her.
Unless she is just as inexperienced as you are or extremely shy, odds are she only sees you as being a “friend”.
A lot of women hate the thought of having a male friend hit on them. They need to believe (platonic friendships) exist.
However as one old adage goes: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”.
If you’re sure you can handle the rejection and are willing to risk the possibility of distancing herself; ask her out.
Whether she agrees to go out or not the dynamics of your friendship will change.
Always date women you’re interested in and not “hang out”.
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