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amhughesParticipantNovember 4, 2014 at 11:25 pm #67037
A guy I had short fling with in college has resurfaced now, 5 years later. Let me give you a little back story: It lasted about 4 months and it ended because he didn’t want to commit. Since then he has been in several long term relationships but we still stayed in touch. Each time he broke up with a woman, he’d contact me shortly after. We’d go out, have an amazing time and at the end of the date make plans to see each other again soon… and then, like clockwork he’ll slowly disappear, until of course, he ends a relationship 6-12 months later. Foolish me, each time I’d get so excited thinking, “this is it! He’s ready to take this somewhere!”Although it took me a while, I finally saw the pattern confronted him about it the next time he preformed the disappearing act. He didn’t have much to say on the subject and we ended on bad terms. That was a year ago.
Well, he’s back again and is begging me to give him another shot. Which I’m weary to do, because I’m not willing to play his little game again. At the same time, something deep down makes me feel like this time he’ll be different (definition of Insanity?)
Should I give him another go, or trust the past and let it go?
manofpeaceParticipantNovember 6, 2014 at 8:50 am #67098
Let me get all the facts straight:
The dude left you b/c he didn’t want to commit
He still stayed in contact w/ you, but only really hit you up when he broke up with his other long term relationships
Plays the disappearing act on and off
Wants you back again???
From these facts here and a guy’s perspective, I’d say that he does feel you’re the rebound. I’m not saying you ARE the kind of woman to rebound with, I’m sure you’re very trustworthy and reliable based off of what you wrote, but the man doesn’t really know what to do right now. He clearly finds something about you that he really likes b/c he keeps coming back to you, but not enough to be serious about it. To prevent your heart from breaking and bad blood to ensue, I’d say unless you mutually LOVE that man, to not move forward in the relationship. Stay friends and maybe go idk run a 5k or something, but don’t get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t regard you as a keeper! Hope this helps! Much love and luck!
sn8wmanParticipantNovember 6, 2014 at 11:55 am #67123
Whenever I’ve been single for a while I think about past girls I’ve been in relationships and wonder why I broke up with them. In general I spend a little time wanting to get them back but I resist and eventually remember why I didn’t like them and the wanting stops. He may remember he liked you, call you up hang-out with you for a while then remember that the two of you don’t work together then move on. Either why you may really like him but he does not share the same feelings, stop giving him chances to get your hopes up and then leave, we all know how much that sucks
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