I need advice

DATING ADVICE FORUM

I need advice

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Ozymandias
    Ozymandias
    Participant
    January 22, 2018 at 3:45 am #162948
    I need advice

    I have a really hard time socializing with people in general. I find the entire ordeal to be tedious and exhausting. I can only tolerate my closest of friends for no more than a few hours at a time. Women are my Achilles heel, I’ve concluded that I’m just not approachable, I am a nice guy, and the two women I have slept with keep in touch with me fairly regularly so it’s not like I’m completely inept, it just that I find it very hard to approach people, they usually come to me. I realize that most women don’t do that. How do you guys break the ice, and once it’s broken how do you keep the conversation going? Usually once I break the ice (and I rarely do) I fudge it all up. I’m far too blunt and to the point, I’m really bad at small talk. I get bored and exhausted easily. I’ll admit I’m arrogant at times because boasting an IQ of 130 makes it difficult to engage in conversations. I’d rather debate philosophy or analyze a problem and I understand that your average person hates that.

    andy.broadbent
    andy.broadbent
    Participant
    January 22, 2018 at 6:21 pm #163105

    You will have to find someone who can keep up you so you don’t get bored.
    Look for people whit similar interests or some IQs. Think where can you find that people: museums, library, book discussion groups?

    Good luck!

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 23, 2018 at 3:32 pm #163206

    1. lose the idea you have to be perfect and charming and as smooth as the movies. It’s not all or nothing. The art of conversation is just being in the moment, observant of the moment. Make a comment pertinent to the moment or ask a question. Asking questions and keeping them talking makes you the “greatest converationalist” b/c people love to talk about themselves! 🙂

    2. Great thing to learn is how to assess the situation and when to cut your losses and when to keep moving forward with a convo. If she’s asking you questions, elaborating on her answers to you – interest! If she’s doing the “bare minimum” (direct answers, nothing more = no interest).

    3. Realize that some people are compatible and some aren’t – that’s okay. Dont’ worry if you and that person are nOT compatible. With the “all or nothing” or “gotta win them over” pressure gone – you’ll be surprised how much more natural and confident you are – thus convos will just go that much better.