I need help! My bfs friend is going to ruin our relationship.

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I need help! My bfs friend is going to ruin our relationship.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    LexLutheran
    LexLutheran
    Participant
    August 26, 2018 at 3:23 pm #182668
    I need help! My bfs friend is going to ruin our relationship.

    I am a 23 year old male dating a 28 year old Male. Let me start off by saying that we are both DL. However, no one knows about me whereas he is out to friends. He has a 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship with a woman. His babys mother has a cousin whom my bf is bestfriends with. This guy is a feminine openly gay man. My bf has admitted to me that in the past, over 8 years ago, him and his friend have fooled around. But he swears that the relationship is strictly platonic now. In that aspect, i believe him. I just dont think that that actually fool around. He is just not my bfs type and knows wayyy too much about him. We have been together 6 months and in the beginning of our relationship, i had no problem with his friend. They would hang out mostly everyday and i wouldnt care. As time went on i grew to highly dislike his friend. My bf is a goal oriented driven man with aspirations for his future. His friend has a career in dishwashing, is a regular cocaine user,

    LexLutheran
    LexLutheran
    Participant
    August 26, 2018 at 3:30 pm #182669

    And basically just an overall bum. That alone makes me dislike him. It started as a small jealousy and now i just flat out don’t like him amd i let it be known. He has a reputation of trying to bring my bf to gay clubs. I am very dl and i dont go to gay clubs. I feel like my bf being in a relationship should respect that and stay away from gay clubs. His friends apartment is a literally party house. He always has a bunch of gay guys over there doing drugs and smoking weed. I just dont want my bf around there. What my final straw was for not likinghis friend is one day, he invited my bfs ex bf who i am extremely jealous of, to go to an amusementpa rk together with my bf. Why would you be inviting his ex to hang out with him if he is in a relationship? There are just a bunch of little things that make me not like him. Now everytime my bf wants to chill with his friend, we always end up arguing for the rest of the daym his friend is constantly calling trying to hang out with my bf but

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    August 26, 2018 at 9:56 pm #182676

    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    Your boyfriend isn’t doing anything HE doesn’t want to do.

    Whenever you get with anyone their friends and family are part of the package.
    These people were in his life before you came along so you have to decide if it’s a “deal breaker” for you.

    He may end up dumping you. After all you are the one who always upset and getting jealous.
    From his point of view he may see you as being the person bringing drama into his life.

    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
    We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us.

    Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
    Choose wisely!

    LexLutheran
    LexLutheran
    Participant
    August 27, 2018 at 8:34 am #182670

    My bf tries to make excuses. Finally my bf told his friend that i dont like him hut that didnt change anything. My bf gets mad at me saying im sellfish bc he has been friends with him way b4 me. I feel like i am going to drive him away but its so hard to not get mad when they hang out. Its like a switch goes off in my head and im instantly mad. Now my bfs friend is trying to go to an amusemtn park alone with my bf. I told my bf that if he goes thats it. I feel like that is a date no matter what he says. Ifeel they may as well be holding hands. It just seems like its going to get worse. Im just going to keep getting angrier and angrier everytime. I meed help i dont want to ruin us but i feel like his friend is

    LexLutheran
    LexLutheran
    Participant
    August 27, 2018 at 8:34 am #182682

    Finally my bf told his friend that i dont like him but that didnt change anything. My bf gets mad at me saying im selfish bc he has been friends with him way b4 me. I feel like i am going to drive him away but its so hard to not get mad when they hang out. Its like a switch goes off in my head and im instantly mad. Now my bfs friend is trying to go to an amusement park alone with my bf. Admittedly 2 other people were supposed to go but canceled. I’m invited but refuse to be around his friend. I told my bf that if he goes thats it. I feel like that is a date no matter what he says. I feel they may as well be holding hands. It just seems like its going to get worse. Im just going to keep getting angrier and angrier everytime. I need help I dont want to ruin us but i feel like his friend is.

    nickthegreek31
    nickthegreek31
    Participant
    August 27, 2018 at 3:28 pm #182790

    Omg that seems to be a bit complicated but I’m not sure what is the best thing for you to do at the moment!