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Testsubject95ParticipantJanuary 18, 2018 at 9:17 pm #162802
So there are 3 people, me, my best friend, and his girlfriend. We are all really close friends, and since I’ve meet my friends girlfriend I really liked her but I wouldn’t try anything because I’m not that kind of guy. Well after talking with his girlfriend, there are a lot of holes in their relationship, for example she puts more effort into the relationship while the guy hardly puts any work into it. It’s to a point where he just ignores her texts and would rather get high than hang out with her. And for reasons I’m not going to specify he had to leave the country for the next 7 months and during that time he has been gone he just continues to ignore her. I don’t think he is mentally mature enough for a long term relationship and many of his girlfriend’s friends think the same thing. She and I had a 2 hour long conversation about what to do about the problem, she really loves him, and I can’t really seem why. He doesn’t treat her properly. And I really like her.
Testsubject95ParticipantJanuary 18, 2018 at 9:19 pm #162803
I ran out of space, but I can probably treat her better than he will. I’m there for her when she needs it, I listen and pay attention. I guess if I could classify myself, I’m the nice guy in a way. I’m just a bit confused on how to handle this. Any advice would be helpful, and if you need more information ( as long as it isn’t personal) I can give it. Thanks 🙂
OzymandiasParticipantJanuary 22, 2018 at 8:40 am #162951
If you value your friendship with this man, you’d leave her alone. In fact, If I were in your shoes I’d abandon both of them. It’s clear the dynamics involved are toxic and probably holding you back. From the sounds of it your friend needs emotional help and support right now. She’s clearly not getting any because he’s far too detached and possibly depressed to tend to her needs. Eventually she will leave him, that his how women operate. This is your friend however and if you are the man she runs to it will be seen as an act of betrayal. If you really value your friend you will let the breakup happen on the sideline not the playing field. If you want her so badly let some time pass after their inevitable breakup and get some form of
“Permission” from your friend. Doesn’t have to be like “Can I hit that” it just needs to be clear your not betraying him your just doing yourself
OzymandiasParticipantJanuary 22, 2018 at 8:45 am #162952
If you value your friend you won’t take her from him. Irregardless of how much better you think you can treat her it will be seen as an act of betrayal. From the sounds of it your ‘friend’ needs help right now. Emotionally. Stabbing him in the back like that won’t do anyone any good. If you must have her give it some time after the inevitable breakup. Honestly I would put distance between both of them. The situation seems toxic and unproductive. No matter what so long as this ‘triangle’ persists only bad things can happen.
xnaffParticipantJanuary 22, 2018 at 11:16 am #163016
you cant stab them in the back
love triangles always lead to dirty endings
abree.alettaParticipantJanuary 25, 2018 at 1:53 am #163336
I would recommend speaking with both of them about the situation. I would ask your guy friend for permission to pursue he is no longer interested. Or at least tell him you want to start dating her. I would talk with her about whether or not she has feelings with you. I guess, just be open and honest. If he gets mad or if she doesn’t end up liking you it was going to happened either. Mind as well be an honest person so no one can say you created a love triangle. Would you really want to start a relationship with deception anyway? His relationship with her isn’t the same as with you. Maybe he makes a crappy boyfriend but has he been a good friend to you? I think you owe it to him to be honest about how you feel regards on whether or not you act on it.
joenat75ParticipantJanuary 27, 2018 at 5:10 am #163599
Whatever it is, you cant stab your best friend in the back. Because
whatever it is, he is no passing by friend.
and the next thing if you really value him as your best friend you should try to
make him understand the issues. Don’t be that friend who is worst then any
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