I think he likes me, but I am afraid of rejection

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I think he likes me, but I am afraid of rejection

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 7:24 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Catherine Wheel
    Catherine Wheel
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 3:23 pm #190534
    I think he likes me, but I am afraid of rejection

    So my story starts off like so many others… there’s a man at work I really like. We’ve known each other almost 2 years now, and we’ve been friends since he started.

    Initially he was on a different shift (we work in a kitchen, and he worked nights while I work days) but a few months ago he made the switch to the day shift (he offered and he wanted it so we gave it to him). Since he has made the move to days it feels like our friendship has blossomed significantly.

    When he first started, he would always ask me for a hug. Now I am a very huggy/cuddly person, but only if I know I can trust you. I have just been hurt so much by men in my life I simply did not trust him. And this went on for months. He’d ask for a hug and I’d say no. I thought he would make a joke or put something on my back… I’m very sensitive having been bullied my whole life, lol. I fear everything.

    Catherine Wheel
    Catherine Wheel
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 3:24 pm #190536

    Well anyway, his coming to my shift feels like we’ve gotten closer. We joke around constantly, he asks me about myself, he talks and shares about himself (which he’s a very private person so I think it means he can trust me or he feels comfortable sharing with me). He’s always asking me to hang out, then gets bunmed when I don’t go (“You can’t go? That’s a shame. You should just come anyway.”) We also play pool a lot together (he got me into it), he noticed when I got new glasses (the chnage was subtle but he commented on it almost immediately), and today… I woke up to a text from him of Michael Jackson performing Billie Jean (I’m an MJ nut! lol). Then I get to work and he has Billie Jean blasting and asked in a very sweet tone, “How did you like waking up to Billie Jean this morning?”. Then, he played Man In The Mirror, which is my all-time favorite song. Then he was saying his back hurt and I offered him a massage which he accepted.

    Catherine Wheel
    Catherine Wheel
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 4:23 pm #190538

    I catch him glancing at me all the time, he looks me dead in the eyes when we talk… I mean I could go on for days about his behavior and why I think he likes me.

    I am just so scared to make a move.I have virtually no self confidence, I don’t see myself as a person he-or anybody- would develop a crush on. I feel like I’m fat and ugly. But even my other co-worker, and one of my closest friends, says I should make a move. To her, she said, it seems like he has a crush, but doesn’t know for certain, he’s never mentioned to her that he feels anything for me. I also got upset with him last week over a horrible comment he made and when I came in the next day still visibly upset, she said he was wondering why and he was worried. He’s also mentioned that he gets worried that I hate him or something and he doesn’t want me to (hate him).

    Catherine Wheel
    Catherine Wheel
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 4:23 pm #190539

    So while it sounds like I have nothing to lose… I’ve been through this before with others guys/men. They lead me on, so I end up developing feelings only to get thrown out the next day after making my move on them. I don’t want that with this person. I do like him and care for him a lot but I am afraid to risk it. I am at a loss… I don’t know what to do. Please help? Thank you so much 🙂

    candydude
    candydude
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 5:13 pm #190554

    You’re not gonna know until you make a move (or he does). Your co-worker knows the both of you, so I’d trust your co-worker’s intuition on this. It’s better to know for sure either way too so you get this weight off your chest and either start dating him, or move on.

    If you’re still really not sure, maybe you can ask your co-worker to talk to him about you. Just stuff like “so you and Catherine Wheel are really friendly huh?”

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    December 5, 2018 at 5:49 pm #190555

    well… it could be either… that he’s one of the same from your past, or sincere.
    these could be signs of interest, or signs of a flirty/comfortable man who’s only having fun or looking to have fun (aka casual relationship).

    it is true there is only one way to find out.

    but my BIGGEST answer here is – never date from the company pool (aka co-workers). Its’ just messy and setting up for a lot of drama and stress later when there is a big fight or break-up.

    I’d just leave it to work fun that makes work more pleasant and NOTHING more. Don’t date from the company pool!