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tll92ParticipantOctober 22, 2017 at 8:56 am #153656
Ok so I’m 24 and he’s 36. We used to work together and recently both of us got out of long term relationships, his was 9 years long and mine was 5 years long. We decided to hang out and he took me on an extremely sweet and thoughtful first date but the end of the night felt awkward. Neither of us knew what we were doing as we haven’t dated in forever. After talking things trough, we decided it would be easier if we just made it a FWB situation because we both knew we were extremely attracted to each other. He made it clear he didn’t want a relationship anytime soon and I agreed 100%. I mean, I’ve only been single for a few months so I really want to go out, meet new people and just have fun. I’m a little concerned about our situation because we have a lot of mutual friends. Last night we went out with them and even through we weren’t touching each other, flirting like we do when we’re alone, or even really standing next to each other the entire night, a couple of them noticed him buying me drinks every time he went up to the bar and they asked if we had something going on. He and I talked about what we’d say if our friends started asking questions and he said he really didn’t care if they knew but I decided to keep it to myself anyway. Although I know there are plenty of suspicions, neither of us admitted to anything. We have so much fun together, we go out whether it’s for lunch or dinner at least once a week and have amazing sex in between. I’m a single mom so my son gets all of my attention when I have him but if he’s with his dad, I am most likely spending time with my FWB. Making time for someone once or twice a week is hard especially when you’re a single mom/ full time student. I am finding myself putting in quite a bit of effort into seeing him although I know we aren’t dating. I’m unfortunately starting to catch feelings, he’s just so giving not only in his day to day life but in bed too. Makes sure I get off every time we sleep together which makes me really really really like him. I’m afraid that telling him would ruin what we have going on. He never talks about other women, but I do know that he’s not sleeping with anyone else. We promised each other we’d tell the other person if we did and also agreed to be clean about it, no unprotected sex with anyone else so neither of us catches anything (I trust him)
One concern of mine is that he hid going to a strip club from me which I thought was totally weird. I would not have hid that from a friend, especially if we both said we were just having fun together. I never talked to him about it but I really wanted to tell him it was ok, I’m not his girlfriend and there is no need for jealousy/being weird about things like that. I’m just curious, have any of you ever gone from being FWB to actually dating someone? Was there an age difference like mine? How long should I wait to tell him that I’m starting to really like him? Should I keep it to myself instead so I don’t ruin our friendship? What kind of signs should I look for to help me determine if he’s actually into me or just FWB?
Padme711ParticipantOctober 23, 2017 at 2:43 am #153676
From your depiction of the situation, I’d already say you are more than FWB. I’ve never known any from my own experience to hide something like a strip club, that to me is what you do when you’re dating. Same with the going out and him buying you drinks, but that could just be with my own situations. I have known others to go into very caring and supported relationships after starting as FWB. As for the age difference, it is just a personal opinion that it doesn’t really effect anything. I have a 13 year age difference between me and my man. Going back the the how long you should wait, I’ve never known holding onto anything like feelings to be good, however you shouldn’t push yourself to say something if you aren’t comfortable of confident about it.
I hope this helps, it was very spastic thoughts.
jthunder1989ParticipantOctober 23, 2017 at 1:42 pm #153736
Just be honest. Don’t hold back. You’re feelings matter! Life is too short to not go for it. So, go for it!
tll92ParticipantOctober 23, 2017 at 10:57 pm #153781
We’re going on a trip together. I’m going to tell him then 🙂
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