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confusedtweenagerParticipantSeptember 3, 2016 at 4:18 am #110483
There’s this guy I met on Tinder and we have been casually dating for about 3 weeks, probably 5 dates. We had talked about it and weren’t exclusive or official with each other. We don’t call ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and are going with the flow.
Recently, I met an old friend, and we were alone and got caught up in the moment and ended up kissing for several minutes. I eventually stopped and informed him that I am in a casual relationship with another guy; and that the kiss has to be a one time thing. Now, I really care about the guy I’m dating and it has been eating away at my conscience. I am in a moral dilemma of being honest with the guy, but I also know that we didn’t really agree to be exclusive. I feel horrible either way. I really want to be honest and tell him but I’m afraid that he would lose respect and trust on me, and would probably see me as nothing but a temporary fling. While I haven’t really had future hopes for us and I like where I am with the guy.
RabbitholeParticipantSeptember 3, 2016 at 5:41 am #110484
Probably that guy was doing the same while you were kissing the old friend, you both free to choose and no need to take things seriously. I did the same thing in my head too but reality is do not put all your eggs in one basket. Seem like you want to be exclusive to him, online dating is so easy and there are plently of fishes out there, if he said do not want to be exclusive seem he is still fishing out there. Why won’t you?
NYGirl99ParticipantSeptember 3, 2016 at 7:13 am #110490
You are NOT exclusive, and so do NOT worry. You did nothing wrong, and no need to tell the guy you are dating. Good luck!
elmaParticipantSeptember 7, 2016 at 6:31 pm #110753
Since you have talked and agreed that you’re not exclusive there’s no need to tell him anything. He is probably doing the same thing….
SimplyyLivvParticipantSeptember 7, 2016 at 8:32 pm #110757
First, you need to be honest with yourself, how much does this guy mean to you, is it something you think could potentially be serious? would you want it to be? Is he a just for now kind of fling? Would you really care if things broke off? … after you have answered those for yourself you can evaluate where he/ the relationship (be it casual or not) stands with you. If you decide you have a genuine interest and want to see where things go and this is eating you up inside, have a talk with him, see if the feelings are mutual. Something along the lines of Hey i like where this is going to the point where i feel guilty being with someone else, is this a mutual feeling or are we keeping this casual? (word it however you like but you get the point) And if your answers are no to the above questions, then stop feeling guilty and let the good times roll ~
Cntrstrike0ParticipantSeptember 16, 2016 at 6:09 am #111578
All I see over here is that you will spoil your casual relationship.
To be honest I feel that you should just hide it and not let him know. It will make things worse. Anyways you were not into a serious one so the terms and conditions of dating do not apply.
GriffsbrownParticipantSeptember 16, 2016 at 11:24 am #111639
Yeah as a guy I can say just be honest. It never hurts to level out with him and tell him what happened and how you feel and at least you could go forward not feeling about it regardless.
AnonymousInactiveSeptember 16, 2016 at 11:47 am #111650
Honesty is always the best policy. You can’t start a relationship with lies. Even little white lies
zenman22ParticipantSeptember 17, 2016 at 12:38 pm #111745
I think it’d be nice to be open and honest with all parties. You really can’t lose that way.
Nathan86ParticipantSeptember 17, 2016 at 8:03 pm #111747
First, as you mentioned you are not in official relationship. Second, it is already enough that you regret what you did and you are honest to yourself and your principles. Finally, if you feel that you should tell that guy what you did and you regret, just do it. I think he would appreciate your sincerity. If not, then just relax. Anyway, appreciation is very important in relationship. Good luck!!
josephddiazzParticipantDecember 13, 2016 at 11:27 am #119955
I have to agree with Nathan86, I think that if you’re true to yourself and your principles, it’s all good! Also, you both were conscious about not being exclusive, so I believe you don;t have to worry about it.
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