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thesixParticipantFebruary 2, 2017 at 12:35 pm #125446
I am a 29 year old Chicagoan. I have had only one girlfriend my entire life and I have only had sex with four women my entire life. I feel like I have tried everything to be better in the dating world. I read Neil Strauss’ book The Game some time ago and tried to implement some of those PUA techniques. Nothing. I have tried to work on my body language. Nothing. I have tried to work on my communication skills, tell more stories and be more personable. Nothing. I try to go out as much as possible. Nothing. I have tried online dating. Nothing.
With Valentine’s Day approaching, this is usually a tough time of the year for me because I am always alone. I am beginning to feel like I am cursed. Maybe it’s not in the cards for me to have success with women.February 2, 2017 at 1:49 pm #125475
this goes under the title “trying too hard..”
have you ever been to a party and thre is obvilsy somebody who’s TRYING TOO HARD to look cool, fit in, be friendly, being too friendly, etc.? so much so that people can see it a mile away?
yeah. that’s you in the dating world. people can see you coming a mile away (especially females – they have a much stronger sense for the unsaid, peripheral body language and vibe in this arena).
so what do you do? you do all the opposite. don’t try too hard. don’t focus too specifically on it. relax.
you do this by not thinkin about dating.. but thinking about “meeting people” with no agenda in mind. focusing on you.. bulding your life. having fun without dating. when you can do that and have a great life going and fun whether or not you have a date – potential dates “see that from a mile away” and want to be a part of the fun, knowing you can provide the fun.
and tha’ts how yo uend up meeting quality potential dates and mates.
WritingGirlParticipantFebruary 2, 2017 at 9:58 pm #125550
I totally understand your pain! I am a nineteen-year-old female who has never even had a boyfriend. My advice is to just go with the flow of life. I am a firm believer in things happening in their own time. Also it might help if you try to talk to some girls that you maybe wouldn’t talk to as much. There are a lot of things worse then being single.
multisamsamiParticipantFebruary 3, 2017 at 12:39 pm #125637
I agree with richiro, just focus on yourself, develop yourself. Don’t worry about the number of girls you’ve ever had, it’s irrelevant. Studies in psychology show that people who are happier are the people who have… one partner. And not 2034034 billions. People who want to show off how much sex they get are just insecure.
And if you want a good book about the subject, I suggest “The alabaster girl”February 3, 2017 at 1:20 pm #125646
a great analgoy is sports. we’ve heard over an dover if an athlete is trying to force their game and force themsevles to make something happen – it never does. its’ only when they allow the “game to come to them” in the flow of things and react to the flow – that they become successful.
the best analogy i like to use is sleeping. Ever have those nights where you JUST CAN’T SLEEP? You know why? because yo’re TRYING TO HARD to sleep! Has anybody ever actually fallen asleep TRYING to fall asleep? Not that i know of.
When do we actually sleep? when we forget about trying to sleep and forget about thinking about why we’re not sleeping. when we let go of those thoughts and let go of that frustration .. we then fall asleep immediately.
don’t try too hard.
let it just HAPPEn and enjoy yourself along the way WAY before any date comes along.. enjoy yourself no matter what.. then the dates will come along.
F1endParticipantFebruary 3, 2017 at 3:15 pm #125665
You aren’t “cursed”. You are quitting.
What woman biologically wants to procreate with a quitter?
You read “The Game”. Alright…
How many women have you approached in the last week?
Guaranteed that it’s below five. Probably zero.
You miss all the shots that you don’t attempt.
As for “valentines day”. I have no idea why, as a man, that should bother you in the least.February 3, 2017 at 5:19 pm #125703
that eexplains it.. a newbie to “The Game” lol.. how did i know?
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