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headinthecloudsParticipantMay 27, 2013 at 6:21 pm #32102
I met this great guy six months ago, only problem was that we lived cities apart from one another. But we were determined to see where it could go and put in top effort to make a long distance relationship work. We were totally into each other. Then two months into the relationship I had a major life challenge. He was completely supportive but I did feel him pull away slightly(e.g. telling me he’d call me but would then forgot). A month after that, while visiting on a weekend, he lied to me about something that was embarrassing to him. Without getting into details, what he lied about was forgiveable (he was embarrassed to tell me) but I struggled with the fact he didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth. Since then, I was really hard on him because of the nature of our relationship (Long Distance) and I’ve had a lot of difficulty trusting him. I shared with him how important it is to build trust and how to do that but he rarely made an attempt (e.g. he try communicating more frequently for a couple days but then resorted to previous behaviours). About a month ago he started showing signs of depression. I’ve been trying to be a good friend – supportive and urging him to see a doctor – but the girlfriend side of me is miserable. He no longer plans dates, he seemingly calls me only when he’s lonely, and he doesn’t make advanced plans to visit me in my city – I’m always visiting him. He’s devoid of motivation. He apologizes all the time for being a downer but how long do I put myself aside to help him? He’s a great friend, the best (if you need him he’s there), but my emotional needs aren’t being met — he doesn’t show concern for my wellbeing, even though he tells me he loves me. Should I hang on or let go?
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