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I’m friends with a girl who has been ignoring my calls and texts for about a month. We still see each other maybe once a week, because I am friends with her whole family. She knows I like her and has told me before that she likes me also but she was in a abusive relationship at the time but she recently, like last week, got out of it. The understanding her and I had has always been that we would be friends and see where it goes. We used to be really tight than suddenly it all changed. I don’t know what to do I have invested so much in her emotionally and financially. I don’t understand why she is acting like this. I have sent her many texts trying to get her to tell me where we stand and she doesn’t say anything and when I see her face to face its usually kinda awkward but then its okay but she still won’t talk about her and I. The last thing she said to me was please be patient that was a month ago. Does anyone have any insight as to what might be going on?November 25, 2013 at 6:48 pm #43499
Fyi I was friends with her family, her mom dad and sister way before I actually met her.
brainDamagedParticipantNovember 26, 2013 at 7:01 pm #43579
I think you’ve been pushing too hard which is what make girls feel impatient.
They need time to get feeling for you even they like you.
George ReaganParticipantNovember 27, 2013 at 12:53 pm #43655
I think you need to let her go. It seems to me she has been sending the “not interested” message” to you for some time. She thinks she is being nice, but in reality not so much. If she won’t then you need to cut the cord and move on. The sooner the better for you.
George ReaganParticipantNovember 27, 2013 at 12:54 pm #43657
Women who don’t want to be with a guy make excuses all the time. It would be so much better if they just said “go away.” But they don’t. Guys have to think with their brains and not with their hearts (or any other body part) and move on.
brad23ParticipantNovember 27, 2013 at 8:55 pm #43663
It may be a case that she needs to get her head around the fact that she has just came out of a relationship. give her a bit more time, failing that do something that she likes and told you a while ago. She will think that you perhaps wasn’t listening at the time and when you surprise her with it, she should think that you do listen and care
tritonParticipantNovember 29, 2013 at 11:41 am #43682
Be patient buddy. Things will work out if they are meant to. I may suggest just send her a hey or something but thats about it.
thatguy28ParticipantDecember 3, 2013 at 1:27 am #43754
Having an abusive relationship really takes a toll on a person and they need time to heal . Give it some time bro and things will change for the better don’t worry. Let us know what happens!
AnonymousInactiveDecember 7, 2013 at 11:26 pm #44185
Oh goodness! I am surprised no one, except for thatguy28, has acknowledged the MOST important component in this whole situation….she was in an abusive relationship!!!! She was just getting out of it (which by the way, is much more difficult for people that most even realize) and you are wanting her to jump in with you???? FIrst, you are asking to be the rebound guy. Second, getting out of an abusive relationship takes some SERIOUS time to heal. She will not trust men, she will not even trust herself! People in abusive relationships have a stronger connection with the abusers than most people even realize. You are asking her to move forward with you, when you are not connecting to the fact that she has been beaten down over and over emotionally and physically. She needs help! She needs help to heal, she needs help to understand why she got involved in the first place with an abusive man! Stay away and just be her friend and let her heal.
AnonymousInactiveDecember 7, 2013 at 11:29 pm #44186
She won’t have the ability to offer you anything healthy for awhile. The best you can do for her, is to support her and help her learn that not every man is abusive. Be her friend and teach her that. Let her have experiences with you where she doesn’t feel pressured…..where she feels your friendship….where she learns to feel safe around you….I know you have been friends for awhile and have probably already shown her these things….continue being her friend WITHOUT agenda and give her some space to breathe.
becca213ParticipantDecember 10, 2013 at 5:44 pm #44385
She seems to be going through a lot right now. I think the best thing for you to do is to be a friend to her. No more no less. Sometimes it takes a while to come to terms with a past relationship ending especially if that relationship was abusive. She probably just needs a friend and support system right now.
EzrealisOPParticipantDecember 17, 2013 at 11:20 am #44700
t39charlesParticipantDecember 22, 2013 at 1:27 am #45132
Good comments here. good luck!April 2, 2014 at 6:33 pm #43678
Yeah I definitely could have been pushing to hard, but it never seemed to bother her before. She has always been very blunt and honest with me she never held back so I would be very surprised if she was ignoring me as a way to tell me she is not interested. Still I have come to accept that we may never be more than friends and right now I’m just trying to save our friendship, but as recently as today she still ignores me. I tried to talk to her recently about letting her go and just being friends but even that she won’t respond to. The other night I was drunk I texted her some harsh stuff still no response and when I saw her she acted like it never happened. This is some stupid shit, she is 30 years old I feel like she’s playing teenage games. Her sister is my best friend even she can’t figure it out and when her close friends tell her she needs to let me go she flat out tells them no
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