I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

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I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    whoami
    whoami
    Participant
    December 12, 2018 at 1:40 pm #190930
    I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    So I met this girl about 6 months ago and over the last 6 months me and her have become extremely close and I’m starting to fall in love with her. The only problem is that over a year before I met her she got engaged to someone else but doesn’t plan on getting married for 2 more years. Her fiancé is in the military so he is never around and she hardly talks about him, hardly wears her engagement ring and spends time with me constantly. I go out with her at least 3 times a week and have done just about everything but kissed her. I’m pretty sure that her fiancé doesn’t know about me but I’d imagine he would not take it well if he found out what’s been happening. I really do love her and want to be with her and she seems interested in me. How do I go about this?? Please help.

    bigheartcoldworld
    bigheartcoldworld
    Participant
    December 12, 2018 at 10:14 pm #190969

    Honestly you can either tell her you like her and see what happens or not tell her and never know.

    fae11
    fae11
    Participant
    December 13, 2018 at 5:56 pm #191048

    i would not get in the way of their relationship. it sounds like youre best friends and i would think she only sees you that way. dont risk it. you will move on and find someone who isnt in a relationship.

    CocoPot
    CocoPot
    Participant
    December 15, 2018 at 6:06 pm #191130

    I hate to say it, but it’s probably best to move on.

    Ralphie1999
    Ralphie1999
    Participant
    December 17, 2018 at 4:33 pm #191218

    Never get in between someone’s relationship. Maybe you can ask her if she is happy to test the temperature of their relationship but dont get involved in a romantic way.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 19, 2018 at 10:25 pm #191442

    “So I met this girl about 6 months ago and over the last 6 months {me and her have become extremely close}.”
    “I go out with her at least 3 times a week and have done just about everything but kissed her.”

    According to you she is extremely close to you, rarely talks about her fiancé, and does not wear her engagement ring.
    So the questions remains: Why have you not kissed her?

    “I’m in love with my {best friend} but she’s engaged ” pretty much says it all.
    On some level you either know or don’t believe she is actually romantically interested in YOU.
    Odds are you’re in the “Friend Zone” and the reason why you haven’t kissed her is because you fear losing her friendship.
    Most women resent or hate men who pretend to be their friend in hopes of turning things into a romantic situation.
    Either tell her you’ve fallen in love with her and therefore can’t be her “friend” anymore or continue to suffer in silence.
    Once she knows how you feel the ball is in her court. Be ready to move on.

    alex10167
    alex10167
    Participant
    December 19, 2018 at 10:36 pm #191444

    She most likely is close to you as a friend and if she is interested to you more than that, then you should put yourself in her fiancé’s shoes and really contemplate that. Also if she is interested in you more than just a close friendship consider the fact that she is doing this while engaged and what stops her from doing this to you when you guys get together. Trust me it can come back and bite you.

    Sierra117
    Sierra117
    Participant
    December 20, 2018 at 7:17 pm #191517

    That ship has sailed

    JacobStevens
    JacobStevens
    Participant
    December 30, 2018 at 1:45 pm #191758

    She’s engaged for a reason and that’s honestly all you need to know. If it was meant to be she would break off the engagement and give you an opportunity.

    Branehart
    Branehart
    Participant
    December 30, 2018 at 8:06 pm #191760
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    What you need to do is find out what you plan for your life, and what she plans for hers. What is your purpose? If you don’t have one, you need to choose one. Everyone has to have a purpose in life and it has to be something you’re interested in. Most people’s purposes are related to their careers. Your purpose is relevant because it will dictate much of your plan for the rest of your life. She has to have a purpose too. What is hers? What is her plan? What is her big picture view for her life?

    Then once you have those, compare and see if the two of you can have a lifetime plan together. If she already has a pretty definite plan with her fiance she’s satisfied with, then move on. But in all honesty if the two of you find out you want to do the same things long term with each other, and she feels more comfortable with you than him, then as long as you like each other and are of decent character, go for it and kiss her.
    (My SWAG is she’s got a plan she’s happy with with him)

    Branehart
    Branehart
    Participant
    December 30, 2018 at 8:13 pm #191761
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    maybe I shouldn’t have put that SWAG in that last post – on rereading your initial post, I can’t tell whether she’s got a plan she’s happy with or not. Anyway you get the drift. With whom is she more compatible in terms of long term plans? I can’t tell if it’s move on time or dear john time. And neither can you – until you get the info. Like Little River Band sang in the song “Reminiscing”: “I want to make you understand/I’m talking about our lifetime plan”.
    Good luck!

    jakariarony
    jakariarony
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 1:30 am #191766
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    You courageously tell him.

    Sporidium99
    Sporidium99
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 7:12 pm #191788
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    Best solution is to find someone else

    92Guy
    92Guy
    Participant
    January 4, 2019 at 2:38 pm #191926
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    I wouldn’t make moves on an engaged woman. Probably wait and see if she is going forward with it:

    incanada
    incanada
    Participant
    January 6, 2019 at 1:11 am #191965
    Reply To: I’m in love with my best friend but she’s engaged :(

    You gotta let this be. I’ve been in a similar spot and just started spending less time with her. There’s no way you can or should wreck that persons engagement. It feels to me like she likes you and is lonely.

    Good luck

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