I’m not sure if he likes me. Should I make the first move?

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I’m not sure if he likes me. Should I make the first move?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    February 2, 2020 at 4:17 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Vivi5
    Vivi5
    Participant
    February 10, 2020 at 8:52 am #229351
    I’m not sure if he likes me. Should I make the first move?

    So I (F24) moved to a new country (Argentina) almost three weeks ago and I started using an app to meet people and make new local friends. Then I met this guy (M27) and we went out to drink a couple of beers and talk. That was on thursday. And even when I’m not the type to fall for guys quickly or something, I felt a lot of chemistry with him. In fact, we kept talking til 4 AM and he later told me via whatsapp that he liked pretty much my personality, etc. Then we saw each other again both on friday and saturday, on both ocassions by his initiative. And he even told me to go out again on monday or tuesday, depending on his work.

    So, I honestly don’t know what to think. On one side, I guess so many invitations to go out and stuff are a signal. But I’m not quite sure if it’s normal or not that he hasn’t tried to kiss me or made any hint about us having something beyond friendship. What do you guys think? Should I just be patient or is it a good idea to make the first move?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 10, 2020 at 10:22 am #229373

    Be patient!

    You’ve only been in this new country for (3 weeks) and already have had 3 dates in one week!

    At this point you have to assume there may be some cultural differences when it comes to dating.
    Another possibility is some “nice guys” who really like a girl try to avoid “making moves” too soon.
    In their mind they are showing them respect by trying to establish a friendly foundation first.

    Having said that you should avoid allowing yourself to become too “emotionally invested” at this point.
    People who behave as if they’re in a relationship when they’re NOT oftentimes get hurt.
    These are the people who are devastated if they end up being “ghosted” by someone they barely know!

    Until there has been a discussion about becoming an “exclusive couple” don’t behave as if you are.
    Keep your options open by dating/getting to know other guys and making new friends.
    Generally speaking if a guy at age 27 is “into you” it’s obvious! You won’t have to “figure it out”.

    billvm
    billvm
    Participant
    February 10, 2020 at 6:05 pm #229402

    While it is in your interest to avoid becoming too “emotionally invested” and to avoid being ghosted, in building up these protected walls, they also serve to keep you from finding out his true intentions.

    He may just be enamored with you in wanting to see you with such frequency. And, as the previous post mentions, there are cultural aspects at play too. Not every man feels the need for sex after the first date. Getting to know the person for who they are builds a solid foundation for a lasting relationship,

    You feel a lot of chemistry with him. Are you attracted to him? Do you sense there is something there that will evolve into love? Do you need more time with him?

    Think about this before keeping your options open and moving to other candidates.

    His “eager beaver” behavior will eventually show his intentions. And if he really cares about you AND you do too, dating other men will signal rejection of him.

    Vivi5
    Vivi5
    Participant
    February 10, 2020 at 7:55 pm #229408

    Well, I’m not really interested in looking for other guys, as I’m not desperate to find a boyfriend. I’m planning to keep going to meet-ups and stuff, but just because I want to meet local people and make friends, as all my friends here are Venezuelan like me and I want to have Argentinian friends too.

    As a matter of fact, I didn’t meet this guy with second intentions or something (as I said, I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend). It’s just that I liked his personality so much that I would certainly like to have something with him.

    About the cultural differences, my Venezuelan friends have warned me so much about how Argentinian men tend to want sex in the first date that maybe I was conditioned to think he would have made a move by now. But, if he really likes me, I actually prefer it this way, as I always have the philosophy of being friends first. Although, honestly, I like his personality so much that I wouldn’t mind kissing him now, even when I NEVER made such a thing before.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 11, 2020 at 11:02 am #229434

    billvim, Keeping your options open doesn’t actually mean (moving on) to other candidates.

    It just means you’re not going to allow yourself to assume/believe in something not discussed or confirmed.
    The best way to avoid doing so is by not putting all of your eggs into one basket.
    You can continue to spend time and get to know someone without {assuming} you’re in an “exclusive relationship”.

    If you were job hunting you wouldn’t stop emailing your resume because you had a good interview with one company!
    Until there has been an offer made and accepted both you and the company are within your rights to keep searching.

    Making assumptions often leads to disappointment and heartache.
    Keeping one’s options open keeps things in perspective and is also the mature thing to do as well.

    Vivi5 eventually he will reveal his intentions and things will evolve or you may decide “he’s not the one” for you!
    Thankfully we inhabit a planet with over 7 Billion other people!

    Linda
    Linda
    Participant
    February 12, 2020 at 2:34 am #229463

    Lovely should message me