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newatthisParticipantMay 15, 2013 at 2:29 am #31256
Okay, let me give you guys a little background before I go into my question…
I am 24 years old, and I have been accepted into a Masters program for this Fall. Hence I have put my school before all else, and due to issues with depression for many years, as well as being homeschooled so no experience relationship-wise from high school or anything, I have never dated, or been kissed. I’ve had one guy confess to me, but the situation made it so that it would have been awkward as HECK to date him.
So what I’m looking for isn’t sympathy or anything, I’m finally over my depression and all. I know I’m attractive, smart, and capable, and I am comfortable talking to guys, just not about this sort of topic or in this type of context. What I want is some realistic advice about:
1. Where I might be able to find guys who would be available (as graduate study guys tend to be already taken), but not going to every bar in town in order to get “picked up”; I do live in a college town, so I do have events and stuff to go to, but I don’t know what to do about finding events that would connect me to single guys
2. How to show I am interested in a guy, and how to tell if a guy is interested in me in the first place (I know a little, but any advice would be very helpful)
3. What kind of advice you would give someone brand new to dating, as I am, just older and more settled in who and what I am
I’ve tried asking this same basic question on other sites, and have been basically ignored. I’m hoping that maybe you gals here can help me with some advice I can use, since I’m not looking into reentering the dating scene, but getting started in the first place in my mid-twenties.
MaddieLineParticipantMay 16, 2013 at 6:23 pm #31476
There’s really no magic advice that will lead you to the BEST or PERFECT dating life. Although you don’t want to fall into the naive dating traps a newbie dater may be put through, I think the best advice is to first, know who you are as a young woman, what you’re worth, what you’re comfortable doing and what you’re comfortable saying NO to.
Then, look for the guys. But not just anybody who will take you to a nice dinner. You are looking for a type of guy, maybe someone with specific qualities you admire other relationships have. Remember them when you start to meet all of the fish in the sea. I think a big thing in dating is knowing what you want and who you want to share all of that with.
As for places, go somewhere you’re comfortable with first. Whether it’s the library, a coffee shop or just a live jam spot on Fridays. THEN move on to those awkward places, the loud bar, the newest rave scene, a concert you’d never pay tickets for or just the food court at the mall.
Baby steps, no rush 🙂
headinthecloudsParticipantMay 27, 2013 at 6:28 pm #32103
A great way to meet people is through friends. Ask your friends if they know any single men and go from there. You never know who you might meet. The most important thing on dates is to not take yourself too seriously – just have fun At the end of the night what’s the worst that can happen, you met a new person and had a new experience. Be young. Enjoy your life.
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