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JustaGrownManWithAHermitCrabParticipantNovember 15, 2018 at 6:01 pm #189448
Hi everyone. I have very little dating experience. I’ve only ever been in one which consisted of a mutual crush and an hour of facetime a night for a couple of months before we both got bored of it. Since then I’ve been preoccupied with school work, running and boxing and haven’t really been interested in dating for a few years.
Anyhow that’s my context, boring as it is. Our context is ye old classmate crush, we click strongly but I don’t know how to take it up a level because she has 0 experience in dating, our friend groups have no common members and I don’t want to freak her out by asking her on a date right away, I know her pretty well but there’s no middle ground between a date and a chemistry lesson. That’s where I’m having a big problem. The thing is that I would never know anyway because she’s nice and I doubt she would shoot me down even if she didn’t want to come. I’ve been running through situations and the only thing I can think of is common interests.
maplelyParticipantNovember 18, 2018 at 5:40 pm #189620
You should try to ask her out casually. If you guys are talking about a common interest maybe say something like “Hey we should discuss this further grabbing a cup of coffee!”
starcrossedthrowParticipantNovember 18, 2018 at 7:12 pm #189628
Just start talking to her in class about things that aren’t chemistry to see if you have chemistry 🙂
dashingscorpioParticipantNovember 22, 2018 at 6:43 pm #189711
“I doubt she would shoot me down even if she didn’t want to come.”
Most young guys are afraid of being rejected and here you are with a girl you believe would say “yes” to the date.
Nobody is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. Relax! It’s just a date.
Ask her out to lunch or some daytime activity and see if there is any real chemistry between you.
First date questions usually are about finding out what each other’s favorite singer, food, actor, movie, class ….is
You talk about your funniest experiences, goals, dreams, and so on.
Hopefully there has been some laughter, smiles, and flirtatious banter along with some incidental touching (hand, arms, shoulders…etc)
If all goes well end by saying you’d like to take her out again, hug her and give her light good-bye kiss on the cheek or lips.
A date can also be interactive such as bowling, virtual reality games, or other activities to take pressure off of talking.
Having FUN leads to second dates.
calebParticipantNovember 26, 2018 at 7:38 pm #189876
Don’t try to force anything to happen. Let it develop naturally, and if something happens, then it happens. You can deduce from your interactions in chemistry lessons or in other contexts whether or not there is something between the two of you that could develop into a relationship. Being inexperienced is no problem if the other person really wants to be with you because the reason the want to be with you is based on things entirely separate from your level of “experience”: your personality, interests, looks, etc. If you’re really into her and she’s really into you than a lack of experience doesn’t matter. In fact, being candid with each other about your mutual lack of experience might even be a source of bonding. I wish you the best of luck my friend.
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