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BabyTruckerParticipantFebruary 5, 2016 at 2:24 pm #93007
The woman I love is black and I am white. She has said things like she thinks she’s racist against white people and just yesterday she told me she doesn’t think she and I can ever really deeply connect because I’m white.
Is there anything I can do or say to touch her heart, to change her mind? Has anyone else dealt with this?
Thank you I need help!! I’m losing my first love!
Kelscas92ParticipantFebruary 24, 2016 at 6:15 pm #94350
I’m currently dating a girl who is part Black and Vietnamese and I am brutally white but my ethnicity is Hispanic. We are a funky ying yang. So I can definitely relate. From all of the interracial relationships I’ve met, skin color difference was never an issue. Although I believe culture and religions may clash, skin color should never be the problem. If skin color really bothered her and the reason you two might not work out because you’re white, then interracial relationships may not be possible for her. Accepting skin color difference and making it irrelevant to the relationship is the first step in being in an interracial couple. All you can do is be yourself. Love how you love and not change one thing because this superficial belief is her belief not yours. It also doesn’t help that the black lives movement has made racism more apparent in our current time. Take it easy. Relationships aren’t based on what you see on the outside, but of the people you are together on the inside.
djamesParticipantFebruary 25, 2016 at 9:49 am #94371
When you’re in a relationship you create a world together that shouldn’t be affected by outside influences.
carParticipantMarch 13, 2016 at 4:24 pm #95533
Love is hard to let go, but I think you should let your girl make up her mind what she truly wants. It seems like a lot of black people are hard wired to dislike white people due to bad experiences, but your girl still need to let go of those experiences and move forward. However, there is nothing you can say or do, but only to be a support to her and cover your heart just in case if she decides to leave.
VoyagerParticipantApril 24, 2016 at 8:46 pm #98642
I’m also in an inter-racial relationship. I’m a black woman and my girlfriend is white. I would probably ask why does she think she dislikes white people. To be totally open and honest, at times, I feel a little resentful. Most of that comes from being self-conscious. At times I feel too unattractive to be with my white girlfriend as a black woman. At times I feel resentful of the “privileges” that she gets as a result of her race. I know this isn’t fair and would NEVER hold something against her that she could never change. It’s my problem that I work to fix.
This is, however, one line of thinking that I would ask your girlfriend about because I know I’m not the only black lesbian to feel this way. So much of it would depend on the “why” she thinks this though. If she is unable to come over her prejudices and they’re only based on personal hatred for white people, I would leave. That is unacceptable not matter what race you are.
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