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lovesick101ParticipantJanuary 28, 2013 at 2:03 pm #21402
My boyfriend broke up with me when I told him I would not move out to California with him. I have since changed my mind and am open to the possibility (I told him that). After our break-up, I have tried to cut-off contact several times, but he keeps me hanging on with hope texting that he loves me, is not ready for this to be the end and wants me to visit when he gets settled (several times). At the same time I know that he is trying to meet and date other women via online dating out in Cali. It would be one thing if he was just trying to date, but his online profile says a lot about looking for love.
So we keep in touch via text, and ‘chat’ a bit every few days. He sends me pictures with updates. And he’s getting settled now, so I told him I want to come visit him for Valentine’s Day. He said that sounded good but he needed to check on a few things regarding work. That was days ago. We have chatted since then but he has not brought it up again.
I really love this man and am not sure what to do at this point. I have been dating other guys but he still has my heart so it is difficult to really connect with anyone else. I have been direct with him so he is aware of all my feelings. I don’t like that he has all the power in this situation. How long do you think I should wait for him to make up his mind before I end it and cut off contact for good?
You help/feedback/probing questions are much appreciated, thanks!
abigailParticipantFebruary 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm #21727
Ok you wrote: “I don’t like that he has all the power in this situation. How long do you think I should wait for him to make up his mind before I end it and cut off contact for good?”
Seems like you ARE giving him the power. The power to lead you on and DEFINITELY string you along until he’s comfortable on his own in CA. He’s already meeting new ppl because he wants to see what else is out there but keeping you at arms length so he has a back up plan in case things don’t work out.
If he invites you to any VDay plans it’ll be for a temporary thrill. Don’t get your hopes up just because one romantic dinner is on the table.
You should not be holding your breath for a guy who doesn’t have his eyes solely on you. Move on chica.
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