Is he another one who is messing me about

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Is he another one who is messing me about

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    foreverghosted86
    Participant
    June 2, 2018 at 11:22 am #175964
    Is he another one who is messing me about

    Met a guy on a chat site & we quickly moved the conversation to Email. We emailed alot in the next 3 days (approx 250 in that time), but something happened in my life that meant i couldnt reply to him for the next 3 days, but he sent the odd email, like ”Have i gone too far?” or ”Is everything ok?” etc. On day 6, i replied and explained what had happened and how sorry i was, we then went back to emailing massively, sometimes 100 a day.
    Around day 9, because of the tone of the emails, i had to ask what he was expecting from our emailing & told him that i was worried he was looking for more than i could give and didnt want to hurt him. His reply confused me as it didnt really answer the question (He replied that he wanted xxx but that wasnt all he was looking for, but then jumped back to what we were talking about just prior…


    foreverghosted86
    Participant
    June 2, 2018 at 11:45 am #175965

    continuation… Day 12 i sent a drunk email to every1 by hitting send to all. He didnt email for over 48 hours, i sent a msg, that even a ‘f*** u would b better (wed already spoke about ghosting and how much it p****d me off). He replied immediately, that hes received some emails from my bff saying she was worried as i was refusing to contact her and had he heard from me. He said that it had shook him up and he needed a few days to clear his head. He promised that he would contact me again in a few days. i replied that i fully understood. That was 7 days ago,i have heard nothing. Not even on my bday. Not emailing him has made me realize that there is something there and i do want more than ‘fun’ with him. Every morning i would wake up and there’d be a msg waiting for me that would set me up for the rest of the day, i found myself checking my phone to see if hed msgged. Ive been ghosted b4 and although it stung, this really hurts. I really want 2 msg him ”hey, hows u?” but i havent.

    TheGuy
    TheGuy
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 2:40 am #175970

    Then Message him…. you acted as if you only wanted a friendship and yet you want more if he goes, in other words you only want attention, the guy obviously wanted more, I cannot blame him for walking away from a girl who is not decided, you only live once, you should contact him again…. it better to live without regrets and see things though and know you did your best then to do nothing.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 2:56 pm #175990

    ” I really want 2 msg him ”hey, hows u?” but i havent.” – If you REALLY wanted to do something you would!
    Sounds like you haven’t been honest with yourself or him about what it is you really want from this arrangement.
    Sometimes the best way to clear the air is the old fashion way. Pick up the phone and actually call and have a conversation.
    Life is too short to be trying to “figure out” one another. Lay your cards out on the table and if you’re not wanting the same things move on.
    If it’s not worth asking for it’s not worth having. Best wishes!


    Toska
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 4:06 pm #175997

    Maybe he thinks you’re a lot to deal with off the bat. Make the conversatios fun and friendly. It’s difficult to get to know someone when all you can think about is whether you want to deal with their problems. It’s scary when someone is so up and down right away. Balance your feelings out and jump back in there. Explain to him what you want and ask him if he feels the same way. If not, then move on. Best of luck!

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by  Toska.

    dburg7454
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 10:35 pm #176023

    You just gotta follow your heart about this. Ask yourself what you really want.


    foreverghosted86
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 8:09 am #175988

    It wasn’t about friendship at the start, it was about a bit of fun, but it became friends and we spoke about everything including my very nasty break up, which is why I asked him what he was expecting from me as I didn’t know if I could commit to a relationship. I knew I was feeling something the same day as the mass drunk msg but wasnt sure what. It wasnt until we had no contact the 2nd time that i realised i had real feelings for him, but by then it was too late. I’m not going 2 lie and say his attention didn’t feel good because it did, but it’s HIM I miss, I miss waking up smiling because of the msg he sent me last before I went to sleep and I miss talking to him until the early hours of the morning, how easy he is/was 2 talk 2.
    I did message him yesturday evening, just a short message to say hey and that I hoped he was doing good, etc but over 24hrs later there’s no reply so thats it I’ve blown it with the only guy ive felt like this with and I have no idea what to do now.


    foreverghosted86
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 8:09 am #175993

    I didn’t message him because he had said he needed to clear his head and would contact me in the week, which obvs he didnt. I’ve messaged him now and laid it all out there for him, while also letting him know that I won’t message him again unless he initiates contact, because at the end of the day him not replying will be a clear message that he is no longer intrested.
    Just wish I’d realised I had feelings for him before it was too late and now to wait for them to go away.

    sarahanry335
    sarahanry335
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 8:10 am #176032

    ask yourself what you really want…

    sarahanry335
    sarahanry335
    Participant
    June 6, 2018 at 3:40 am #176329
    Reply To: Is he another one who is messing me about

    Yes! Ask yourself what you really want….