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starrynightz45ParticipantApril 7, 2013 at 12:43 am #27872
I met a shy guy at school who got my number eventually, and began texting me every single day. We went out on 1 date, which went great. Unfortunately my ex (6 yr relationship, broke up 3 months prior to this) came back into the picture. He just showed up at my house one day, wanting to get back together. Things got really loud/turbulent with him, and he went thru my phone and saw the text from the new guy. I told the new guy i wanted to meet with him the next day at school to talk to him, because I felt I should be honest. Though I didn’t want to get back with my ex, I told the new guy things were a little hectic/messed up at the moment, so I just wanted to let him know what happened. Later I told him I’d made up my mind about not getting back together with the ex, but the new guy completely backed off and stopped texting/calling. He said he didn’t want to be a factor in my decision.
A few weeks later, I went to his art show. He told me I looked good multiple times. He complimented my shoes and my hair. He told me a story about this girl from class he doesn’t like, saying that she’s “just another generic girl.” And then he said “I’m glad you’re not like that” (a save, being friendly, or flirting? I don’t know). He also told me that he’s generally a rude guy. I said I actually thought he was a nice guy and he said “well I’m nice to YOU.” At school, he alternates between ignoring me, and giving me lingering eye contact. Most of the time when I walk past him, I’ll notice him quickly turn his head and look at me, but then turn back again.
On Friday, I felt like dressing up so I wore this new coral spring dress I bought. I put my hair down and styled it, which I usually don’t do at school. When I went to class, he walked in and said “You look very nice today.” Again, this is totally something that I guess could be friendly.
After class we walked back to the parking lot separately, but we were on the same floor so I caught up to him and asked him how things were going. Then I said have a good weekend, and picked up my pace, walking to my car. He walked up to my car, and asked if I’d had my car repaired yet (I had an accident a month before). I said no, not yet but I would get around to it eventually. He said “oh alright..well, c you Monday.” And he left.
I’m pretty confused at this point. I haven’t dated much in my life, so I’m not really sure if he’s flirting or just being nice. He said he didn’t want to be involved in the ex situation, and that he wasn’t “looking for anything” but I continue to catch him staring and I’m not sure if he’s the type of guy who regularly compliments girls because he is a little awkward/shy, at least in interactions with me, but I’m not sure how he interacts with other girls. Any ideas?
MaddieLineParticipantApril 8, 2013 at 6:29 pm #27999
LISTEN to a guy when he speaks, not necessarily when he acts. I say this because you’re not in a relationship with him. if you were, then some body language interpretations may be helpful, but for now….don’t take it seriously. He literally told you, I don’t want to be a factor in your decision. Hearing that a girl just got out of a 6 year relationship is a huge red flag, especially if it’s only been a month or so since you broke up.
Sounds like he was interested in you but since you’re still in the “breakup” stage with your ex, this new guy knows to steer clear.
As for the looks and the nice compliments, remember HE’S A GUY! If you flaunt a pretty dress, he’ll notice! And he’s gonna look! Did you also happen to notice the dozen other dudes that took a second glance at you? No. Well they’re looking, and just because you’re the newest single girl on the market doesn’t mean you’re immediately going to attract boyfriend material.
Forget about dating. Go enjoy yourself and pick up some new hobbies. It’s almost the summer and you can travel and explore all you want. You’re craving the attention your ex gave you and you want SOMEONE to fill that void, but that’s a risky path to take if your heart is exposed and you’re not in control of your feelings. Guys like a girl who’s got things going for her, without a guy attached to her side, so BE that young woman who is pursuing her passions and is goal-oriented. Guys think it’s sexy, not just because you styled your hair one day…
Enjoy being single 🙂
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