Is he[43M] interested in me [21F}? What do I do!

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Is he[43M] interested in me [21F}? What do I do!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    spantanda
    spantanda
    Participant
    January 11, 2020 at 3:40 pm #227675
    Is he[43M] interested in me [21F}? What do I do!

    I work in customer service at a gym while I’m home for the holidays (this will be my last semester of undergrad) and he works in maintenance. I’ve always kind of had a crush on him, I find him insanely attractive. We chat at work often, but things really started to ramp up this break. After a really unfortunate night out, I’m hiding in one of the rooms, still a little drunk, trying not to be sick. He comes in, says hey! how are you! I tell him I’m still a little drunk, very hungover, and forgot my water at home. He immediately goes and buys me two water bottles. He comes back and we talk for an entire hour. Out of the blue, he eventually asks “So, are you dating? Any relationships?” I tell him “Nothing serious. Last guy worked here, was 30.” He says, “Ohh, so you’re into older gentlemen?” “Haha, I guess you could say that.” We talk about dating for a bit, and again, out of the blue, he says “Do you date outside of your race?” (He’s black, I’m white.)

    spantanda
    spantanda
    Participant
    January 11, 2020 at 3:41 pm #227676

    I tell him, “Yes, the 30 year old was mixed, definitely not against it.” We discuss for awhile, he tells me a story about how he was in a relationship with a white lady he worked close to awhile ago who turned out to be gay, but while they dated it was fun because nobody knew about it. After an hour, he leaves to do some work. He returns an hour or two later to check up on me. We chat for 5-10 mins til he gets called away again. The next day I’m at the front desk, so more visible, and he stands in front and we talk for another 5-10 mins. My mom (who is friendly with him) remarks that when she says hey to him when I’m gone at school, he always asks how I am. Next day I pick up an opening shift, knowing he works early. I manage to get 15-20 minutes alone with him and we chat. At this point, I’m in full infatuation mode, and am NOT a subtle person (unintentionally) when it comes to people i’m interested in. He always keeps the conversation going with another question.

    spantanda
    spantanda
    Participant
    January 13, 2020 at 8:16 am #227677

    He asks when i leave, I tell him the next morning but that I’ll be back in a month. He asks if i’ll be around the gym, I say probably not. He insinuates that we should still see each other, and I ask if he has Facebook or Instagram. He says “Yeah, what’s your instagram?” and now we follow each other. He gave me a big hug when I left. He was married at 22 and has been divorced for a long time.

    I’ve never been with anyone over 30, but I am definitely interested in him in any capacity, sexually or relationship-wise. Is he even interested in me, or is he just acting paternally? I’d like to show my interest, but I have no idea how to approach something with someone more than double my age!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 13, 2020 at 6:11 pm #227735

    It sounds like he’s interested in you on some level.
    Asking you about your dating older guys and interracial dating are solid clues.

    A college grad with a guy working in maintenance isn’t exactly the fairytale.
    Odds are the majority of people one dates isn’t going to be “the one”.
    If you’re just looking to have a fling there is a good chance this is all it will be.

    Nevertheless a 43 year old man should have know problem making his interest known to a woman.
    At this stage in his life a woman shouldn’t have to “guess” if he’s into her or not.
    He’s either fearful of being rejected or really sees you as a young person to be looked after.

    Continue to be friendly towards him but also keep your options open by dating other guys.
    Leave it up to him to initiate romantic interest and flirt back if he flirts with you.