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forestrunner190ParticipantSeptember 2, 2016 at 9:32 pm #110471
After about a year of dating, I was having a great relationship with a woman, until suddenly a situation came up that seems to be a deal breaker. It is a common situation for all divorced parents. My 2 sons both have young children now, with my youngest sons 1st being born this year. We all live in different states and my oldest son and family planned a trip to visit my youngest sons new family. My SO and I were invited to join them. She never met the oldest son or saw the new baby and was looking forward to the visit; until we both found out that my ex was also invited. My ex lives near my son and she had not seen the new baby yet. I have been to similar events with the ex (marriages, births, etc.). We are cordial and the boys are happy with the way we behave. My SO thinks that one should never attend such a family event if the ex is there; not even the birth of a grandchild! I think it’s the best thing to do for my sons, and for me as well. Any comments or suggestions are welcome.
sweetmmouseParticipantOctober 7, 2016 at 1:01 pm #113507
I had a similar experience with my SO and he did not want to go but in the end he just realized that it would only be for a couple of hours. He went with me and saw first hand that when it came to my children and grandchildren we (my ex and I) would have to share the same visits most of the time. I guess this helped since he had been married before to a woman with a child from a previous relationship.
I think as along a everyone is in agreement then it should not matter. Besides the new baby is the center of the focus not you or your SO or the ex. Just the new baby.
forestrunner190ParticipantOctober 8, 2016 at 11:20 am #113528
Thanks for your comments sweetmmouse. I think what you worked out is what I was hoping for; as long as everybody is cordial during the gathering. But I wasn’t sure what others do in this situation, so that’s why I posted the question. I asked my SO to just give the visit a try so she could see what it was like, but she said it didn’t matter if everybody got along or not.
dddanseParticipantDecember 28, 2016 at 2:28 pm #121230
As your SO was invited it appears that your son and his wife feel comfortable with the situation and the only one feeling uncomfortable is the SO. Unless she is the reason your marriage broke up, she has no reason to feel uncomfortable. I say, go see the son and his family and hopefully your SO can rejoice as an extended family.
I was with a gentleman for a couple of years and we were both always welcome in the homes of our various children and happily accepted by the grandchildren.
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