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freebeesParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 6:59 am #74784
I’ve been seeing a good-friend turned boyfriend for about 7 months. It’s almost time for me to return to Uni, which is a 15 hour drive away and he’s brought up the idea of long distance. Although I care about him very much and could see myself loving him I’m worried for several reasons. 1. He has some anger issues and while he’s never hit me, I have been backed up into walls, things thrown etc. and I’m scared that could escalate. 2. He has a drug problem that while it doesn’t really affect most aspects of his life is causing some stress in our relationship as I don’t use 3. He’s made comments that imply he might have a wandering eye (maybe hands too) 4. We aren’t really going down the same paths and it looks like I’ll end up in Chicago pretty much permanently by the end of this year. Is it worth it or should I cut things off while it won’t be too messy? He has so many good qualities otherwise I wouldn’t bother but I’m wondering if my four biggest concerns may be too big to push aside.
DKing3ParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 11:09 am #74799
Id cut that off. For one, I hate to say that long distance very rarely works. Not saying that it can not work, just is very unlikely in the long run. I know you can talk, text, skype, and maybe visit on occasion, but in all honesty you just will not have much of that physical connection and being there for each other. And as far the 4 issues, yeah that sure as heck dont help. The anger issues and him throwing stuff would have been enough for me to leave him already, and the drug problems too. Its just not worth you getting in tons of trouble or physically hurt over him. Maybe he should seek help and who knows maybe your paths will cross again! But yeah Id cut that off
AlexFParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 4:34 pm #74833
Individuals who have drug and anger issues tend to have insecurities and negatives past which affect the present. An interesting thing is that this qualities do not warn you of trouble to come. If the situation has happen where you been against the wall or thing thrown at you; that could lead to worse later. This is where you sit down and ask yourself where are you heading with your life? Also do you want to deal with a guy who has no self control or brings more stress than happiness? This comes down to what exactly do you want from your life, if you do not want things to escalate further; it is time to let it go.
20-nothingnewbParticipantMarch 9, 2015 at 5:29 pm #75084
I think everyone else already hit the nail on the head, and reading your story – it sounds like you already know the answer. This is the hardest thing when love just isn’t enough and I think that’s the case here. It’s not even that personal, you guys are going down different paths like you said and later on he will appreciate the break too because it’s just not meant to be… and if it actually is meant to be, it will be! (Cliche but there is truth in it) When it comes to this stuff, sometimes you just have to go with your gut and make a decision. Be strong – I personally think it’s the right thing to cut it off. Good luck!
kadmooreParticipantMarch 9, 2015 at 7:20 pm #75094
In my opinion you already seem to know what to do. You have listed many reasons why it would not work out in the long run. I would firstly cut it off because of his past with drugs and his anger issues. He may have qualities, but he seems to have a lot of things to work on before he can be in a healthy relationship with anyone.
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