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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!April 21, 2016 at 12:47 pm #98333
-Meet this girl through POF
-We went out on 3 dates in the space of 10 days ; food, cinema, crazy golf, dinner at my place
-We got on well, chatting, kissing, hugging, holding hands (no sex )
-She is a student based at a nearby University and in my area till September
Things seemed like they were going well, but over the last 2.5 weeks it seems to have stalled.
The weekend previous to last we were meant to meet, but she cancelled last min saying she felt ill.
Then again yesterday we were meant to meet to go to the cinema, but she cancelled at the last minute! She said she was sorry, she had an awful day and had to work late. I said ok let me know when you are free again, shes said she would ‘make it up me next time’
The context to this is that she works researching at a local zoo, and often has work in the evenings. We were chatting a lot online at first, but I have cut that back as I felt i was too full on. On the 3rd date I gave her small flowers…April 21, 2016 at 5:15 pm #98334
and a ‘Star wars’ light sabre toothbrush…which she liked and thought was nice.
Looking back at the WhatsApp messages I sent her I was asking her what she was doing a lot, which she didnt seem to mind but I felt I was being too full on so I stopped and just cut it down to setting dates.
I have tried to be flirty on texts etc but she doesnt respond to that..although she can be flirty in person.
I am being insecure but I have been checking her POF to see if she still uses it and her Instagram..I know this is stalkerish and I will stop!
The convo ended on text with me basically leaving the ball in her court ‘give me a shout when you are free to meet another time’.
Another thing to add to this is she has to babysit her supervisors son on Thursdays!
She also mentioned to me a few times about her last boyfriend ‘leaving her in Dublin after a massive row’ and that he was ‘insecure’
My head is confused, should I message her again or leave it to her to message me? Help!
soniccatsParticipantApril 22, 2016 at 1:46 am #98442
Honestly, it sounds to me like she might just be busy. I’d give it some time. Don’t hit her up all the time either, but it wouldn’t hurt to occasionally ask how she is, how her day was, what is stressing her out from work or whatever the reason she had a bad day was. Let her know you care enough to ask and be genuine about any concern that you show. If she continues to blow you off, you could be direct and straight up ask her if she still wants to continue dating or not. She needs to be respectful to you and not have you waiting for something that isn’t going to happen, should that be the case. I wish you luck!April 22, 2016 at 6:19 am #98445
Thanks soniccats i appreciate your kind words! i think she really is busy as she told me she left her phone at home the other day…having studied myself I can remember the stress of having to get work done and not feeling like I had enough time to get it done.
I guess I am quite insecure and inexperienced in this area of my life, I recently lost my job as well and have started to feel unsettled..questioning the direction of where I am going in life. I guess I just want to spend time with her to enjoy myself and seek reassurance that she is into me…but reading this back I can see this is needy behavior! So I am focusing my efforts elsewhere on the areas of my life I need to address, such as career, personal wellbeing etc.
Its tough but I am going to give her some space, maybe text her over the weekend and see what she says.
Thanks again 🙂
coldturkeyParticipantApril 22, 2016 at 1:14 pm #98483
She told you that she’s left her phone at home?? Who does that nowadays in this age where people are surgically connected at the hip with their phones…also the fact that you just lost your job…could be that she wants to keep her distance now because of what you’re dealing with…April 22, 2016 at 1:46 pm #98484
I havent actually told her about that yet because I havent seen her. She wasnt online during day so i have no reason to doubt that lol
ShinigamiParticipantApril 24, 2016 at 10:59 am #98629
Damn man, i feel for you. To be honest at times i just really don’t understand women at all and i bet i speak for a lot of guys then. Your first post sounded very positive, something i can actually get slightly jaleous of because to be honest i haven’t been too succesful with the dating game at all, for a long long time.
I really hope she gets back to you soon, because what you explained about losing your job and not really knowing what to do right now, i got you on that 100%. I’ve been there, hell i still am actually. Don’t give up though and try to see the good things in life as well. There’s nothing wrong with taking it a little easy and giving her time, but she should not expect that you’ll wait a lifetime. Who knows what goes around in her head, but she should take your feelings into account as well. Hoping the best for you my friend, keep us posted.April 24, 2016 at 12:38 pm #98632
Thanks Shinigami your kinds words mean a lot to me my friend.
Yes it has been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, and I guess I have been latching onto her to make me feel happy at this time of insecurity. So I am going to switch my attention to other things now and focus on them like sport, career, work to keep me going and long term direction.
Thanks for the empathy about my job situation. I will give her space now and leave it now. She did actually text me back and told me not to worry and that she understood by what she meant by my last text.
I still worry that even if we do meet again she may friend zone me, but im just going to see what happens, everything has went well before and I cant force anything. I guess, looking back, that because we met up often in that initial period my hopes went up and I probably chased her too much.
The positives are that she said she will get back to me and she did try and make time for me last week, even when her work was mental.
galio83ParticipantApril 24, 2016 at 5:25 pm #98638
Sounds like she is talking to someone else as well.
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