Is There a Chance to Get Back Together?

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Is There a Chance to Get Back Together?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    the_gangsta
    the_gangsta
    Participant
    May 23, 2018 at 8:32 pm #175091
    Is There a Chance to Get Back Together?

    Okay, my situation is kind of complicated, so hear me out. I happened to meet this guy at a frat party, and we instantly clicked and we both liked each other. However, there were many holes in this as it would be long distance relationship if we did get together because I’m from another school in another city, I was just there because of my organization and my friends took me there. Besides being long distance, the poor guy was just fresh out of a 2 year relationship with his ex and when he met me it was only 2 months out of it, therefore it would have been perceived as he might have been using me as a rebound. I suspected it at first, but there were honestly pretty much no signs of it being a rebound, because he has hardly mentioned his ex unless I brought it up when we were first getting to know each other more. I was testing the waters, trying to be really careful and wanted go slow, but somehow on my first date with him when he first visited me (details on next post)

    the_gangsta
    the_gangsta
    Participant
    May 23, 2018 at 8:36 pm #175092

    we ended up sleeping together although I didn’t really let him do a lot. He was willing to spend money to see me and he had visited three times, so I thought he was pretty legit. Everything was great at first, however, somewhere down the middle he first mentioned that he didn’t want to be in a relationship because he wasn’t ready. I was kind of sad, because I had accidentally caught some feelings for him and didn’t want things to end, so I managed to convince him to stay with me for a bit longer. This continued for another month, and I thought things were going great and a little too fast but the pace was initiated by him or so I believe. However, when I finally first visited him by myself (with the help of a friend who drove me there so I didn’t have to spend money), the first few days were great until he broke the news on the last night when I had to leave the next morning that he said he had fallen out of love with me and so had to break up with me. I honestly doubt it (see below)

    pakster123
    pakster123
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 6:25 am #175113

    I am not sure because all guys are different. However, from my own personal experience, any guy can spend money if it is to get with a girl. That does not mean that all guys are like that; however, it is just not the best indicator of how dedicated someone is. As for not mentioning his ex, that is just common courtesy. I do not know your situation but it is very rare for a guy to change his mind unless he is lying about falling out of love with you from the beginning. A way though you can try to win him back is not giving him the time of day. In other words, do not let him back in easily. Do not fall for the “I miss you” texts after he didn’t text you for a long time. And if he treats you as a friend, just treat him normally. Do not give him special treatment. For my boyfriend, he acted like he didn’t like me back. I am the type to be like ok and move on. Once I got sick of his games, I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and that’s when he finally confessed that he liked me.

    pakster123
    pakster123
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 6:34 am #175114

    I am not saying reject him completely, but make sure he does not take advantage of you. Do not make it seem like you’re willing to do whatever he says, then you will become the rebound girl. Be respectful, but hold your ground on self respect. I have seen guys who use girls to forget about their exes and I’ve seen girls who just let them in because they like them so much end up being just a fwb or the rebound girl. I think when I made it clear I would not stand for games, my bf was confused because his tricks wasn’t working on me and realized my worth once I started to show him that even strong feelings change when taken for granted. Do not initiate and if he does, do not let him in back easily. If he never wants to get back, then you have to move on.

    ncpeter12
    ncpeter12
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 6:49 am #175117

    Unfortunately he definitely is not over his yet, they dated for two years that’s a very long time. Whenever you’re together he’s constantly comparing you to her, which isn’t fair. There’s a good chance this girl still talks to him and is in the background. Don’t talk to this guy at all and move on, he may contact ya back the moment you do move on lol.

    the_gangsta
    the_gangsta
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 8:41 am #175093

    Though because the love felt real between us and he couldn’t have possibly fallen out of love overnight unless he was still trying to convey that he wasn’t ready, in which case he should have just said that so I’m extremely confused. When we broke up, we agreed to stay in contact just as friends. It was fine for a while, however, he recently told me he couldn’t be just friends with me and couldn’t see me as one because he saw me as his “ex,” and note that we were never official, he didn’t want to be committed to me but in the beginning came to me wanting to be my boyfriend. So he started to ignore all of my text messages, and I was so upset that I went as far as telling him that fine, if he wants to break up with me and not talk to me entirely, I’m fine with it because he doesn’t even know what he wants. He told me that he was uncomfortable talking to me and still can’t control how he feels about me yet says he doesn’t feel the same anymore. After he started to avoid and ignore me,

    the_gangsta
    the_gangsta
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 8:41 am #175094

    Long story short I bombarded my ex with text messages after the breakup because he wouldn’t answer to any of it and it never said he saw it either as this was on messenger. I thought we had agreed to become friends after the breakup but he said he was uncomfortable talking to me so I’m not sure what to do anymore. I still have feelings for him but he said he fell out of love with me and thinks he was rebounding on me as he has an ex of 2 years and when he met me he had his breakup 2 months ago. We were only together for a month and a little more, but had AMAZING connection on both ways and I thought it was genuine, the only downside was that it was long distance. Help! I really don’t know what to do. Thanks 🙂