Is this girl interested or does she have feelings 'online'? (Long post)

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Is this girl interested or does she have feelings 'online'? (Long post)

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    bigbyw
    bigbyw
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 8:39 pm #176014
    Is this girl interested or does she have feelings 'online'? (Long post)

    So I met a girl on an online forum a few months ago, she became a moderator of that forum and as we were both moderators we kept in contact most days, we even started speaking on a third party chat app ‘discord’ with the other moderators. We have spoken about personal stuff and gone into deep conversations so we no longer harbour an exclusively ‘professional relationship’.

    Now the thing is I’m aware you can’t really fall in love with someone online or catch feelings but rather the idea or image of that person. I feel as if I have developed a soft spot for this person interacting with her for the past few months. We have also spoken over voice chat for countless hours so I’m aware of her tone of voice etc. Now we no longer partake on the online forum but still keep in touch over this third party chat application with one other moderator.

    bigbyw
    bigbyw
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 8:40 pm #176015

    I could be overthinking this but I have picked up some signals from her numerous times when we have communicated over this app,

    1) She seems to remember everything I tell her, even quoting some things I have said from a few weeks ago and small little details.

    2) Has deffended me on a few occasions or even gone out of her way to satisfy and reeasure me on certain matters/concerns I bring up.

    3) Shows bias when reffering to me or speaking to the other moderators even reffering to me as ‘her favourite’.

    4) Once I made a joke saying I was special and she said ”you’ve been special” in a serious way, whether this means special in a freindship kind of way or romantic way I’m not sure.

    5) When I have referenced pictures of myself or been reffered to she has flirted in an indirect way with use of emojis such as the ”the lenny face” and the winking smile face insunating she would do something sexual.

    There are others I cannot think of from the top of my head

    Barriers:

    1) She lives in a different country, very far away.

    2) Has no issue mentioning guys she has dated, is dating currently, guys she finds hot and her sexual experiences/sex life.

    We have exchanged social media at this point so she knows my personal details.

    So the question is, is this just all in my head? Does she have feelings or a crush atleast to the idea of who I am or is this more of a online freindship kind of thing?

    I definetly do like her atleast from our online interactions but the fact that she lives so far away and is seeing other guys makes this all seem far fetched.

    I’m thinking of admitting my interest to her or cutting contact as this is something I think about quite a lot during the day and is distracting me massively in real life. Pardon the tedious long post

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by bigbyw bigbyw.
    • This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by bigbyw bigbyw.
    dburg7454
    dburg7454
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 10:29 pm #176022

    Follow your heart!

    bigbyw
    bigbyw
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 8:09 am #176017

    There are others I cannot think of from the top of my head but the thing is she seems to treat me differently online to other people.

    Barriers

    1) She lives in a different country, very far away.

    2) Has no issue mentioning guys she has dated, is dating currently, guys she finds hot and her sexual experiences/sex life.

    We have exchanged social media at this point so she knows my personal details.

    So the question is, is this just all in my head? Does she have feelings or a crush atleast to the idea of who I am or is this more of a online freindship kind of thing?

    I definetly do like her atleast from our online interactions but the fact that she lives so far away and is seeing other guys makes this all seem far fetched.

    I’m thinking of admitting my interest to her or cutting contact as this is something I think about quite a lot during the day and is distracting me massively in real life. Pardon the tedious long post

    MysteryWoman
    MysteryWoman
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 11:31 pm #176194

    I think the fact that she is not a geographical option for you should deter you from thinking there may be a romantic future for you two. The time you spend thinking of her is time you could spend being open and looking for a woman who IS available to you. Did you develop a crush on this person because it feels safe and you are without knowing it, afraid to have a real relationship because that makes you feel vulnerable? I had a male friend who always ended up in relationships with unavailable women. Two from out of state and a third was a married woman (His best friends wife.) Well, none of those relationships lasted and he’s in his 50″s and never married. I think he couldn’t handle having a real relationship and that’s why he devoted his time to fatal error type people. Anyway, this may be more extreme than you are, but you owe it to yourself to get out there and meet someone in the flesh! Good luck.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 30, 2018 at 11:28 pm #178518

    Date other women who are local. As you noted she dating other guys
    You can always maintain your playful online friendship.

    The main reason why most long distance relationships fail is because there is “no light at the end of the tunnel.”
    It’s the counting down of the months, weeks, and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LDR that keeps it strong!

    Odds are neither of you are going to {relocate to different country} so why bother becoming emotionally invested.
    .