Just ugly angry feelings he doesn't seem to understand..

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Just ugly angry feelings he doesn't seem to understand..

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2018 at 9:01 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Savykitty
    Savykitty
    Participant
    May 30, 2018 at 2:32 pm #175648
    Just ugly angry feelings he doesn't seem to understand..

    I’ve been seriously dating this guy for nearly two years, we plan to move in together soon and also get married. I really love him. He has made new friends at his job, and one of them his this girl. She is a bit older than us, married, and lives a couple minutes from the workplace. So for lunch he goes to her house occasionally. He used to go together with another one of his friends but now that friend moved off, now he goes alone with that girl. It bothers me, I will admit. It drives me crazy and I’m not proud of it. He is so friendly outgoing and everyone just immediately loves him. I am not. I don’t have many friends I’m not outgoing nor friendly, no matter how much I try. Maybe I’m being possessive? Though I understand he has friends and I can’t be the only person in his life. Maybe I’m insecure? I will admit when I meet his friends I believe they are disappointed. How can I fix this? He refuses to limit his freedom and he wants me to trust him. I want to but this just hurts. Help?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 3, 2018 at 2:46 pm #175989

    You said: “He is so friendly outgoing and everyone just immediately loves him. I am not. I don’t have many friends I’m not outgoing nor friendly,”

    Maybe this is why (you) were attracted to him. However you can’t expect someone to only “shine the light on you” or fix your insecurities.
    Ultimately in a case like this you either trust him or you don’t. If you don’t trust him or this is a “deal breaker” for you then dump him.

    It’s unrealistic to expect someone to {change who they are} just to please you. Most people want to be loved for who (they) are.
    You might ask him how he’d feel if you were going to another man’s home during your lunch hour. He may be fine with it though.

    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
    We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us. Suffering is optional.
    No one is “stuck” with anyone. Find a man who shares your same values.

    compek
    compek
    Participant
    June 4, 2018 at 2:28 am #176030

    You need to fix this asap or it will just drive him further away. There’s nothing wrong with being a little jealous sometimes but if he says nothings going on you need to trust him, there’s nothing wrong with him hanging out with friends of the opposite sex like you said he’s out-going so it sounds normal. These are issues you need to work out, no one can make you feel better about it. Maybe just focus on your confidence building your friendships with other people and you soon won’t care as much.

    Firas
    Firas
    Participant
    June 9, 2018 at 3:29 pm #176618

    If It Hurts and it doesnt feel good
    then there is something wrong

    you heart will never lie to you

    So maybe its time to leave him
    you deserve a guy who wants to spend time with you first then his friends
    this is how i do it My Sexy baby first then the world