Keeping in touch during lockdown

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Keeping in touch during lockdown

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    May 2, 2020 at 11:40 am #233268
    Keeping in touch during lockdown

    I am a 36 year old male, I have been texting and met once a girl before the lockdown. Then during the lockdown we have been regularly in touch, exchanged tons of long texts, called each other. We had a nice call a few days ago, and she said that she wants to see me again after the lockdown end (and so do I).

    However, later on, she got less responsive to texts. I reacted by doing my best to show that I have not been affected, by reacting in a cool, relaxed way, and by avoiding to come out as needy, which is what everybody says one should do. However, these are difficult times, and one should allow for some spontaneity as well, so I could not follow these rules to the letter.

    The fact is that she still is less responsive. What should I do? (My guess: leave her space, do not text for a few days, assume that she knows how to contact me if she wants to ;)).

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 12:33 pm #233286

    “..she got less responsive to texts.”
    ” What should I do?”

    CALL HER!
    Text messages and emojis are a poor substitute for human connection.
    If she refuses to take your calls or is distant and lack enthusiasm then she’s not “the one” for you.
    If so, move on.

    Secondly in order to be “less affected” you have to be busy engaging with OTHER women!
    You’re acting like you’re already in an “exclusive relationship”.
    If you were looking for a job you wouldn’t stop sending out resumes just because you had a great interview with one company! Odds are if she has an {active dating profile} other guys are hitting on her!

    Until there’s an offer made and accepted both the candidate and company are within their rights to interview with others.
    Keep your options open by meeting/dating multiple women until there has been a discussion around becoming exclusive.
    Right now you’re way too “emotionally invested” with a girl you barely know and have only met once in person!

    You may want to read the book: Online Dating Avoid The Catfish! How To Date Online Successfully

    Best wishes!

    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 1:11 pm #233289

    We already spoke on the phone 2 days ago, so calling her is definitely a bad idea. Any better suggestions?

    As for the rest I agree with what you’re saying… I am obviousky texting with plenty of other girls, but I admit that I feel too much emotionally invested in this one. Oh and I’m pretty sure that she is texting with plenty of other guys as well, no doubt about that.

    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 1:14 pm #233290

    Oh and thank you for the book suggestion!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 1:43 pm #233293

    If you just talked with her a couple of days ago let things go.
    Maybe once every week you can drop her a line and check in to see how she’s doing.
    Just make sure you flirt with her or use some sexual innuendo from time to time.
    Otherwise you run the risk being put in the “friend zone”.

    The main focus should be on engaging with other women who might be more interested in you.
    As one old adage states: “Go where you’re appreciated and not tolerated”.

    When it comes to online dating the “competition” never sleeps.
    Attractive women get bombarded with hits from guys.
    Try to avoid becoming “emotionally invested” with anyone who has an active dating profile.
    After going out multiple times is when you’ll know if you’re compatible enough to suggest being a “couple”.

    Whether or not this develops into anything shouldn’t fall all on you.
    If this girl is truly into you then SHE will initiate calls and contact with YOU from time to time.

    In order for (her) to be “the one” (she) would have to see (you) as being “the one”.
    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa)

    Best wishes!

    Karl
    Karl
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 2:13 pm #233295

    That sounds very reasonable, thank you for your advice!