DatingAdvice Forum | late bloomer looking for basic dating advice

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MysteryGuest

Participant

February 23, 2013 at 7:21 pm #23515

late bloomer looking for basic dating advice

Hello internet. I was hoping that some of you might be able to give me some basic advice on dating. You see, I’ve only had two romantic relationships in my 25 years of life, one very short lived one with a girl in college and one foolish and ill fated internet relationship with a guy (I’m bisexual in case this didn’t clue you in). In both cases, they approached me. What this means is that I have exactly zero experience in finding someone for myself.

So, basically, I’m looking for any advice you can give me starting with the basics. I’d just like to get my bearings and hopefully avoid the awkwardness of standing around in a club or bar simply not knowing where to begin. Where can you meet people, other than bars/clubs? What are the rules/rituals and social faux pas of these areas? Do they differ from each other? What’s a good way to initiate contact with someone I find attractive or interesting without seeming creepy or desperate? What do you say to them? How do you pull a person you’re interested in away from their friends? Or, alternatively, how do you approach someone surrounded by friends without it being awkward? What are the differences in approaching someone for a one night stand versus a relationship? Are there any? When should you buy someone a drink, if ever?

And for gay guys, I have a few questions for you as well. I have awful gaydar, so it’s especially difficult for me to ask guys out because I’m afraid that they might be straight, which would put me in a very unpleasant situation, especially if it’s someone I might see again (a person who frequents the gym I go to, or a family friend, or what have you). This is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be, but I’d still like advice on it all the same. What clues you in to whether or not a guy is gay? Where do you go looking for gay guys? How do you handle it when you get a “sorry I’m straight” response? How do guys differ from girls with regards to approaching them?

I know that these are questions I could pose to my friends/family, but quite frankly it’s kind of embarrassing. Any advice is appreciated.

spoodle

Participant

February 25, 2013 at 1:10 pm #23549

You’re asking a TON of questions. Thankfully there are millions of dating articles out there online you can start reading. You may find a trend and see you can apply some “tricks” or ideas and make them your own but I can offer one bit of advice:

Be 100% confident in who YOU are. Make sure you know what YOU want in a relationship and what you can also offer. Don’t seek a relationship just to be with someone, instead date around with the best intentions.

It’s a broad answer but I think the first step is always within yourself and being sure of who you are before you go wandering around figuring it out with so many relationships…good luck