Liking a coworker

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Liking a coworker

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 25, 2014 at 10:41 pm #69613
    Reply To: Liking a coworker

    Yeah, I think it’s best to not be too terribly flirty and silly with her for a little while (make it more work casual). Remember, it shouldn’t be like that for horribly long. Over time, you two should be able to start acting silly and fun with each other again. It’s just going to take a little time for her and for you to make sure that you don’t feel too awkward about what’s been going on between you. Hopefully she will feel okay with the whole situation fairly soon and you can at least get back to your friend aspect of your relationship both during and after work.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 1:52 am #69620
    Reply To: Liking a coworker

    Ok, so here is another update. I came office. Everything fine so far. And just noticed that she is trying to be like she was before. I am trying to put conversations limited to office thing only. She looks in even more friendly behaviour. So its going good right ?

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 4:26 am #69623
    Reply To: Liking a coworker

    Another quick update. She is kind of poking and teasing me as usual. I am totally avoiding it though. But sometimes when it is unavoidable, i am responding to that. So far not so bad. We are talking as usual. But a small very small pain is there. I think that will go over time.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 6:02 am #69625
    Reply To: Liking a coworker

    Well hopefully she is getting back to normal a little easier and quicker than expected! If she presents you with this, don’t feel like you have to be completely cold to her kind of like I’ve mentioned almost. Find that happy medium. If she honestly feels more comfortable with poking and teasing, than just ease back into that then. There’s nothing wrong with that!

    As for the pain, that’s to be expected. You put yourself out there and she responded in a negative way. I’ve hurt, you hurt, and even she’s hurt somewhat. The smoother the transition back to normal, the easier it will be, trust me.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 8:19 am #69626

    Yes I trust you. To be honest I parsed the internet a lot to know the solution for my problem. But most of them were sounding like “treat her as she treated you” i.e. if she friendzoned you then don’t behave with her as you usually used to behave. Let her know that you can be happy without her. Start flirting with her even more. Start flirting with other girls in front of her and all that. But I never got convinced with all this. Your replies worked a lot for me.

    I have seen many articles where they claim that you can come out friendzone and can get her back. Most of the solutions are nothing but even more painful. Sounds like take revenge form her ! I am not sure if you went through such articles or not. What is your view on that. Did you tried getting her back once she told “we are friends”. I am sorry if I getting personal with you.

    I am happy to take the happy path, at least I will be happy 🙂 which matters the most to me.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 9:36 am #69627

    I don’t really believe in the whole “getting back at her” idea. I think you’ve got the right idea about what to do!

    As for me, I don’t mind talking about my personal experiences. I’m very open about it and like to talk about it with others whenever the situation presents itself. I went on a few dates with a coworker of mine and when really hit it off. One day, however, it just ended with me and her. She didn’t seem interested in me like she had shown before when we dated. I don’t know exactly what happened, but it really didn’t matter. I held out hope for a long time that I was overreacting and that it was all going to work out. That was until I saw on FB one day that she had a new boyfriend (talk about a punch to the gut). I hated the guy so much, and didn’t even know him! I drove myself crazy thinking about why things happened the way they did and what she saw in him that she didn’t in me. Eventually they broke up, and my hopes came back, but only briefly. During all of this, we

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 9:39 am #69628

    always remained good friends, despite me wanting more than just being friends. It was hard, but I got through it. When she broke up with the jerk (her own words later on), I thought that this was my chance. Unfortunately, she started telling me about a new guy that she had fallen for. At this point, I realized that as of that moment, it wasn’t meant to be. That’s not to say it wouldn’t be down the road, but not right now. When she started seeing the first guy, I was full of hate and resentment, but now I’m okay with how the events have unfolded. I still think we would be perfect, but I always realize that I really enjoy and care about our friendship both outside and at work. I’d rather be friends than not see her at all.

    And remember, there is always a chance it could work out. I still hold out hope deep down, but if it doesn’t, I know that I can handle it now. You can handle whatever happens to you too!

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 10:28 am #69629

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I really appreciate the way you have handled it and are happy now. I liked your statement “but if it doesn’t, I know that I can handle it now” . I am sure that withing a couple of days I will be in the position to handle by my own. I respect her because she always treated me well. I am not willing to play all that bullshit “getting her back” games. Today she is texting me a lot. I am replying also. Surprisingly I am not going out of my way to wait for messages and reply asap. I hope it is OK.
    I owe you a lot man.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 10:33 am #69630

    One more thing.. does at any point of time, is it required to ask her why she turned me down, or just let it go. As you said I am not regretting at all.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 12:08 pm #69631

    No problem, just glad to help!

    And that’s an awesome questions, and a tough one. To be honest, I think it’s up to you. I’ve always wanted to ask what the problem was between us, but I personally didn’t want to mess up what we had going. Sometimes it’s better to leave it where it is, but I absolutely understand why you’d like to know. It’s totally up to you. I think I’d like to know, but if it’s something that I wouldn’t want to hear then I certainly would rather have it be like it is now. Like I said, up to you on that one.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 12:19 pm #69632

    I agree. Better to leave it 🙂 Will keep you posted the progress.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 26, 2014 at 12:27 pm #69633

    Sounds good. Good luck man!

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 11:22 am #69646

    So much of texting since yesterday. Its really so much. She rarely do this much. I am replying also. I feel getting pulled back in the same condition again. Though trying hard not to.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 1:45 pm #69647

    She sounds like she’s all over the place! LOL hey man, just see where this plays out. Not to start getting hopes up, but maybe she has changed her mind and is trying to warm back up to you a bit. Remember, no matter what happens, you have the control and you can do it.

    olaa
    olaa
    Participant
    December 27, 2014 at 2:31 pm #69649

    Yes, I am getting the control smoothly. I reply when I want and what I want. I don’t care what she thinking. I just have to be normal. Its just a matter of time.

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